Man Hoped Cops Would Think 2-Liter Pepsi Bottle Hidden in Underpants Was His ‘Huge’ Penis: REPORT

OAK LAWN, IL -- An Evergreen Park man was ticketed for retail theft after he hid candy, a long john and Pepsi that he stole from a convenience store, reports said.

Oak Lawn police were dispatched around 5:44 a.m. Feb. 2 to speak to a caller about an alleged disturbance at Advocate Christ Medical Center. When police arrived at the 7-Eleven across the street from the hospital, they found a man later identified as Timothy Costello, 31.

Costello was standing by the store’s Pepsi display and appeared to be placing something into his clothing, police said. When officers asked him why he had called, Costello allegedly told police he had been kicked out of the hospital and asked for a ride home.

As the officer talked to Costello, he noticed a vanilla long john in Costello’s pocket. Costello told the officer he got the pastry at the hospital, according to the report.

Police said that Costello also appeared to have a large bulge in his pants. The officer told him to remove the item, and Costello pulled a 2-liter bottle of Pepsi out of his underwear.

Costello allegedly stated, “I thought you guys would just think I had a huge [expletive].”

The officers asked Costello to remove any other stolen items, to which he took a package of gummy bears out of his pocket, reports said.

The cashier told police he saw Costello remove a long john and an item from the candy aisle, before he walked over to the Pepsi display. Police said he was waiting by the display until officers arrived.

The total value of the merchandise was $4.77. Costello was issued a ticket for retail theft. He has an administrative hearing March 7 at Oak Lawn Village Hall.