Lessons learned in NEWTOWN, CT

As we approach the one-year anniversary of the most horrific slaughter this country has ever seen, it’s natural to ponder what we have learned from the gut-wrenching Newtown, CT, tragedy, what we can do to stop it from happening again, and what improved security measures can be implemented to assure parents that this cannot happen again. 

As a mother who has buried a child of my own, I relive my own loss every time I think of the parents who lost children that day. Unfortunately, there is no quick and easy solution to stop another Sandy Hook tragedy from happening. There is no magic security system or school safety plan that can be implemented to avoid this. Short of placing our children in armor-plated schools, sending them to school in bullet-proof garments from head to toe, or keeping them locked in our homes, we cannot prevent all such mass shootings.  

What we can do is look at why this tragedy happened and how it can be avoided in the future. It’s far more productive to ask why this boy was so angry and why he slipped through the cracks in the system when he clearly had been challenged for quite some time. How has our society become so desensitized to violence and void of human emotion that a young person chose to prey on innocent children, apparently to garner some attention, improve his self-worth or make a statement?  

The answer is complicated and multi-leveled. Let’s start with death and carnage being packaged as entertainment in today’s society. I would imagine that even as the innocent children at Sandy Hook were being executed, they were more confused than petrified. The scene unfolding before them may have closely resembled a violent movie or video game they had seen. Go sit through a violent movie that is popular with teenagers, and note their reactions to the gruesome scenes in the film. Instead of gasping and being shocked by the violence, there is laughter and applause.  

Why then should it surprise us when a mentally and socially disturbed young man, looking for attention and approval, re-creates a scene that would garner him applause and hero status among many of his peers? 

Until we can have an honest conversation about what the Founding Fathers intended in the First Amendment and realize what we are doing to the next generation, these incidents will continue to happen and will get worse. Just because someone has the legal right to produce something, doesn’t mean it should be produced and watched by our children.  

So what can we do as parents and society at large?   

1.  Send a message to the creators of violent media that it is unacceptable. Speak in a language that they will understand: money. Refuse to purchase violent video games, tickets for violent movies, music with violent and demeaning lyrics, or any other type of media that portrays violence as entertainment.

2.  Educate yourself on what is current in your child's world. We may not enjoy the music or videos today, but we owe it to our children to get involved and be aware of what they are being exposed to.   

3.  Start a dialogue with your child to ensure that they are empowered with the tools of assertiveness so that they will be able to say ‘no’ when pressured to participate in violent and inappropriate activity.   

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Christy Pace is a 23-year police veteran who can talk about what kids can do to stay safe on their way to and from school as well as bullying, teen drug and alcohol use, Internet and social networking safety, peer pressure and the need to fit in, and elder abuse and safety.

Pace is a project administrator and team specialist for The COREMatters Project (http://www.thecoremattersproject.com/), a Crestwood, Ill., nonprofit organization that created a 13-week curriculum to teach kids how to deal with bullying and other youth issues. She is also co-owner of the Safety Education Alliance of America (http://www.safetyeducationalliance.com/), the nation's premier supplier of printed safety materials for all ages