Marriage is more than a tradition

Something old, something new, something borrowed, something blue

“The real act of marriage takes place in the heart, not in the ballroom or church or synagogue. It's a choice you make—not just on your wedding day, but over and over again—and that choice is reflected in the way you treat your husband or wife.”  So says Barbara De Angelis, an American bestselling author and relationship consultant, lecturer and TV personality. If you’re my age, you know that statement is as true today as it was when we said “I do” all those years ago.  Over those years while some of the customs and traditions around marriage may have changed, the commitment behind marriage has not.  And even long standing traditions that you would think have been abandoned by now such as,  “Something old, something new, something borrowed and something blue” still show up on wedding planning sites and blogs.

Weddings in one form or another have existed for millennia, but weddings of the past were not always grand and ceremonious.  One way weddings have changed over the years is the complexity and expense that go into the big day.  For example, in the 1930s when weddings were often put together in weeks, rather than months or years, the total cost was just over $300. That figure even included the trousseau—something we don’t hear much about these days—although back then a hope chest that held items such as sheets, towels, tablecloths, napkins, dishes and flatware—was a very common practice for brides-to-be. By comparison, today the average cost of wedding runs about $20,000 more and more couples have already set up housekeeping by the time the knot is officially tied making a hope chest a moot point.

Although May, October, and December are actually the most popular months for weddings today, many people still associate June with brides. That tradition reaches all the way back to the days of the Romans when June, the month named for Juno, the goddess of marriage and childbirth, was a popular month to wed.  Later, the custom continued because of a less than romantic reason.  In the Middle Ages, June was the best month for a wedding because brides—and grooms too—were still somewhat clean from their annual spring baths which traditionally were taken as the weather warmed near the end of May.  And flowers abounded for bouquets which also helped keep the festive atmosphere more sweet smelling.   

In the 1940s, the date of a wedding was often dictated by the groom’s commanding officer.  Whirlwind romances were common and according to a 1942 issue of Vogue, an engagement announcement on Monday might be followed by invitations sent out by telegraph on Wednesday, with the last handful of rice flung at the wedding on Saturday. Do you remember how wedding rings for men became more popular because the ring connected us with our husbands who were serving our country overseas? 

Because funds were so limited, sometimes lace curtains were even used to create veils unless the bride just wore a practical suit with a skirt short enough to ride a bicycle and a jacket that could be buttoned up all the way to the neck for warmth.  If you were lucky enough to have the time and money for a wedding reception, it typically featured Big Band music.