Halloween Candy Fun?

A friend posted a video with a comment on how it is cruel to make your child cry as a ‘joke’. Normally, I don’t click on links or videos when I expect to be upset or outraged. I don’t know what made me do it this time, but I’m glad I did as it brings up an interesting point or two.

First, I am in complete agreement with my friend about not finding humor in playing a practical joke that makes someone so upset they end up crying. Particularly a child. Especially your own child.

I grew up in a house where practical jokes were standard. In many ways, I think joking with your children is a good thing. Helping them develop a sense of humor, particularly about themselves is a positive. Life is full of absurdities, and being human, we are often absurd. I believe learning to laugh at our own foibles and foolishness is character building and makes for a happier world.

In our house, we have had certain running jokes about candy since my son was old enough to talk. When my husband and I married and his boys got added into the mix, they too were brought in on the jokes.

The first, the one that only my son was subjected to, involved chocolate rabbits at Easter. Starting at two or three years old, I routinely bit half the ear off each and every chocolate rabbit. Just after Easter when he was four years old, we were standing in line at the grocery store, surrounded by displays of half-off candy and he innocently asked,

“Mom, why do all these chocolate bunnies have two ears and mine always have one bit off?"

I feared for the woman standing in line in front of us who nearly hurt herself laughing. That memory and the antics we went through every Easter with me trying to get to his chocolate rabbits before him are some of the happiest, silliest and funniest in our family. I recently found out he bragged to his Army buddies that his mom was so crazy, he never once in his life got a chocolate rabbit on Easter with both ears intact.

The other candy joke involved both my son and my husband’s boys and Smarties. There is something about those little rolls of colored, compressed sugar that do me in.

When they were young, it began with me asking them to share their Smarties. It quickly evolved into them taunting me with them. Followed by my chasing them around until I could catch them and tickle them into giving up the goods.

I’m sure that someday, the boys will be telling their children to be sure to hide the Smarties, or hide they even have them if they don’t want to be chased, tickled and tackled for the goods.

But, like my friend, I draw the line where my family did. Jokes should never be cruel; if it is cruel, it is not a joke. It is just being mean. Still, I clicked on the link. And I learned something I think important and very telling.

Watch the video before reading further, then tell me your reaction. Mine is below.

"I Told My Kid I Ate All Their Halloween Candy"

In the beginning of the video, Jimmy Kimmel is asking parents to tell their children, on video, they ate all the Halloween candy. When you have made your child cry, tell them you were just kidding, but keep the camera rolling! Then, send in your videos and the show will compile them for the world to see!

My first thought is always about how people no longer have any boundaries when sharing with the world. I am not that old, but I do remember a time when it would have been unheard of to show a little boy on national TV in just his underwear. I wonder how many even noticed that?

Others that I found particularly disturbing are –

-the little girl bemoaning how hard she worked for the candy

-the one where the kid assumed they must have done something wrong

-the little girls weeping, “Why? What did we do?”, followed by the parent asking if they are still loved

-a little boy shouting “I hate you Jimmy Kimball”, followed by the parent laughing at the kid getting the name wrong, then getting the name wrong herself

My next thought was about how people, parents, could possibly think it cute to video their child having a temper tantrum, throwing things at the parents, even hitting the parents. According to my book on child rearing, this is something that would fall under the chapter “Signs You Have Raised a Brat”, or maybe, “Proof You Have No Respect From Your Child”. But maybe that’s just me and my old fashioned ways.

Let’s contrast the first part of the video where children are breaking down into screaming, crying fits with the few at the end where the children took the news as no big deal.

My favorites were the little girl in the car seat who patiently explained that she wasn’t mad, just sad. This little angel then goes on to explain how maybe next year, they can share her candy.

My other favorite was the little boy at the end who said, “It’s alright. I just want you to feel happy.”

Certainly, they were disappointed, but, their reactions speak volumes about the character they are developing, the people they will someday be. I guess the same can be said about the kids in the first part of the video, too. What is most telling to me, is what the different reactions say about the parents, about how these people are parenting their children, what kind of character these parents are helping their children develop.

A cynical mind might say this whole video exercise is an intentional, on the pat of the producers of Jimmy Kimmel, sociological statement on American child-rearing. Perhaps showing these videos and the audience reactions of laughter at the tantrums, ending with the endearing, heartwarmingly loving responses from the last few kids is telling us something about how we are raising our children to behave. Or misbehave. And what our future society is likely to look like, if not an explanation for what we are living with today.