'Ask Debbie Sue' Dating advice with Debbie Sue

I received many letters from my readers about the topic of- ‘Cell phone etiquette.’ There are a lot of people out there that feel the same way about picture taking in restaurants. There’s a time and a place to snap photos and not interrupt people while they're eating in a restaurant, a cafe'... Or any other places where privacy should be respected.

Here’s a letter from one of my readers regarding this topic.

Dear Debbie Sue: “I read your columns about photos and cell phone etiquette, and agree with you completely. I’ve been dating a guy for a couple of months that is nice to me in most ways, but he recently bought a new phone with a camera that he uses everywhere he goes! He never did this before he bought the new phone. The other night we were out to dinner, and he took photos of all the women in the restaurant. While we ate, he offered some of his food to the table next to us, where 3 single women were having dinner. He asked if they were single and if he could take their picture! It made me feel like he’d rather be with them instead of me. He takes photos outside while walking to the car and eyes all the women when we’re at concerts and takes their photos. Sometimes he doesn’t ask them and he just snaps away. I only enjoy our time together when we’re alone in his apartment on weekends. He pays more attention to me. Last week he took his cell phone into the shower! When I asked why he did that, he said he needed to check his e-mails while he was in the bathroom. I’m thinking of ending our relationship but he’s an ok guy most of the time. I don’t appreciate him staring at other women while he’s out with me and taking their photos. Not sure what to do.” Cathy

Dear Cathy, This guy is very rude. Snapping photos of other women while he's with you, is very inconsiderate. If he takes their pictures while you’re on a dinner date or anywhere you go, it's just simply un-called for. It sounds like he's very immature. If the only time you have his attention is when you’re alone, then I would certainly speak to him about his behavior. If he just recently started this rudeness, because he bought a new phone, then tell him your feelings. Tell him you miss the way he treated you before he bought the phone. I would certainly tell him he’s hurting your feelings by ‘eyeing’ other women and taking their photos while he’s on a date with you. If he continues and doesn’t respect your feelings, I would move on and find someone else. There’s plenty of men out there that will enjoy your company and give you their ‘full attention’ without a cell phone in sight. Good luck to you! 

In answer to my reader that wishes to be 'anonymous'- The guy you're dating for several months is not respecting you at all. He's telling you what to wear when you're out on a date, he's all 'hands' when you're out with other friends. He should be treating you with respect & not make you feel uncomfortable being with him around other people. If you're only enjoying his company when you're alone with him in your home, and not out in public.. Then, this is not the man you should spend the rest of your life with. My advice would be to move on & find someone who respects you when you're alone with him or out in public. Good luck to you!

In answer to my other anonymous reader- If this guy is 'eyeing' other women when you're out grocery shopping or on a picnic at the beach, or elsewhere, that is just plain rude. You've been dating him for 2 months & he keeps doing this. Tell him how you feel. Tell him that he's hurting your feelings when he's 'gawking' and 'winking 'at other women. If he truly cares about you & your feelings, then the only woman he should be 'gawking' & 'winking' at is YOU.

I'm very lucky to have some wonderful male friends in my life that I've known for many years. My best male buddy said a very sweet thing to me many years when we met. We were out to dinner and a pretty gal walked by wearing a revealing skirt & blouse. I said, 'She looks nice huh?' He replied, 'She doesn't hold a candle to you!'  My other male buddy said something similar to me when we were at the beach one afternoon. A gal in a bikini walked by us. He said, 'She doesn't have anything over you. You're perfect just the way you are.'

I've been friends with them ever since. Ladies- Please love yourself just the way you are. There's no need to change for anyone. Same thing for you gentlemen out there. Don't change the way you are for anyone. Just be yourself. Your date needs to accept you for who you are and not try to change you.

Until next time.. ‘Keep Smiling.’

Debbie Sue
www.stillsingle.org

Send comments & questions to: debrasue-60076@msn.com

Join Debbie Sue & her friends for, 'An evening of comedy & music' on July 16th at 8:00 PM. At the Elbo Room 2871 N. Lincoln Ave in Chicago. Cover charge: $5.00. 'Dating Dilemmas' show.

Also, August 5th at 7:30 PM & August 6th at 3:00 PM at the Skokie Theatre 7924 Lincoln Ave in Skokie. For the short play festival. 'Dating Dilemmas' short play will be performed in the festival.