The Tear That Couldn’t Tear Me Down

By: Chloe Shapkauski

One performance may alter an athlete’s abilities mentally or physically. I met my manipulator on May 17th, 2021. If I had known that a single movement, a solo stroke towards the soccer ball would affect me with total rehabilitation for six months, I would have disregarded every opportunity that game, allowing my standards to trickle out of bounds.

I tore my ACL, anterior cruciate ligament, during a soccer game against Reavis High School. Though fog still dazes over the memory, I’m able to envision myself planting my left leg while turning its right partner. After brushing contact with the soccer ball, my legs betrayed me, causing a tumbling journey that would eventually lead me to the turf.

I’m not a player that spectators see on the ground long. Certainly, I have fallen and have gotten fouled, but an onlooker will spot me climbing right back up to my feet. For the first time in ten years of gameplay, I remained laying flat. I knew from the second I grazed the ground that it was not a mere bruise.

Panic slid through my body faster than internal blood swarmed my left knee. Thoughts of my inability to stand repeatedly pummeled my brain until the referee finally waved the Tinley Park High School coaches onto the field. They commented on how scarce the occurrence was.

Though I was able to stand, limping to transport both legs for the next two days, a consultation with an orthopedic ruined my momentum. Apparently, I needed surgery to repair a partial tear in my meniscus along with the full reconstruction of my ACL. The news was devastating, especially days before Tinley Park High School faced a regional championship game against the school’s District 228 rival: Oak Forest High School.

The doctor gifted me a bulky brace that devoured my left side’s 37 inches of leg. It contained several straps and approximately 3 pounds of weight. Following doctor’s orders, my exercise routine changed dramatically: one full of leg raises and rest. A huge increase in dependency on my right leg was evident, so I had to build muscle in the left quad.

Since I’ve been active my whole life, (soccer for 10 years while dabbling in other sports along the way) the lack of exercise was a massive mental barrier. Not being able to run, hype on my favorite songs, was a struggle. Thankfully, four months out from surgery, I’m allowed to finally jog until my heart's content.

Supposedly by January, I’ll be able to return to my Bobcats travel team full time. As for school soccer, I plan to compete in the spring of 2022.

Various pearls of encouragement have carried me along this journey. In fact, a quote by Michael Jordan reflects my daily views, “Obstacles don’t have to stop you. If you run into a wall, don’t turn around and give up. Figure out how to climb it. Go through it or work around it.”

When I first started my recovery, I couldn’t feel any exhilaration like the rush I used to depend on from wind whistling through my hair on the field. Now, as I’m allowed to run as far as I’m comfortable with, I'm reminded of the endorphins buzzing through my veins. Every step I take, every stride where I don’t fall, I’m reminded that my body is a machine that can be pushed farther and farther.

Each day is a challenge to further my abilities. For example, I recently ran six miles without stopping, the electricity of the fall weather empowering my pummeling feet on the pavement. Moving forward, I plan to keep increasing my mileage and bring my new spirit into soccer practices once I’m cleared to play. Overall, I don’t dub the experience as a setback since I’ve learned wonders about myself and the journey to push my body to any destination.