Cory Needs Coffee-A Working Mom's Blog: A Quest for Peace

There is a person I absolutely love to run into.  I don’t see her often, but when I do, I always feel better.  She simply exudes peace from her pores.  She is unflappable, the perfect woman, able to juggle kids, career and life.  Not in a “I’m perfect and you’re not” way, but in a way that seems completely at ease with who she is and where she fits into the world.  She seems to be able to weather any storm with competence and grace.

That is until a few months ago.

While I could still see her attempts, I could tell something was different.  There was something brittle, almost broken behind her smile.  A sadness she was trying desperately to hide.  And I found myself stuck in one of those situations I hate, when I want to reach out and try to connect, but I’m not sure how to do it.  I’m not sure we have reached that point in our relationship where I can candidly ask what is wrong without making her uncomfortable.  But my heart literally breaks when I see the pain behind the smile.

Peace.

It’s a simple word, but such a rare thing to find.   It implies a comfortableness with your place in the world.  Not the false bravado I’ve so often found in the business community, but an inner calmness and faith that transcends so much of what happens in the world.  Peace seems to incorporate not only an acceptance, but also a true embracing of your personal circumstances and your life.

The last year has been very complex, not only for me but for so many of my friends and clients also.  Many good things have happened, but many difficult situations too.  And peace has seemed elusive at times.  Which leads me to ask the question- where can I find peace?   Is it dependent on external circumstances or is it possible to have peace in any situation?

I no longer believe that peace is possible in any situation.  If you are struggling to feed your children, worry that at any moment you may lose your job, or are waiting for the foreclosure notice to arrive, I don’t believe you can have true peace.  If you are surrounded by conflict, whether at work or at home, I don’t believe you can experience true calmness and tranquility.  You may have faith in yourself or God to help sustain you in the situation.  You may believe that the future holds better things for you, and feel good about taking steps towards that end.  But true peace?  A feeling of absolute calm and serenity at that point in time?  I don’t think so.

But recently I’ve been striving to find opportunities to calm my spirit.  I enjoy jogging, the chance to be alone with my thoughts and to expend some stress through exercise.  So I’ve been intentional about planning this in my week.  I started attending church regularly again.  I’m carving out time to spend with each of my kids in a relaxing activity- enjoying an afternoon at a park, going for a walk.  Time relaxing with friends is no longer a luxury, but a way to recharge for me and therefore a necessity.

But more importantly than each of those activities I’ve found is to spend time in that moment.  Savor it, enjoy it.  Not to rush it, but to stop, take a deep breath, and enjoy the experience. 

I’m on a quest for peace.