Why Is It so Hard to Change?

Part One of Two Parts

There is an old adage that says the only two people who like change are bus drivers and babies.  All the rest of us struggle with it.  So why is it so hard to change?  I have noticed that with the onset of aging, somethings are just harder to learn and often I even lack the motivation to try.  Some just declare new things as wrong and that gets them off the hook to learn something new.

For the longest time it was thought that a person's inability to make substantive changes in their life was a character flaw.  But new neuroscience is revealing it is more about biology than about personality.  That the neuropathways the brain has been creating before we were born, have ingrained in us certain patterns.  This makes changes in our habits more difficult.  Just try folding your hands together and notice which thumb is on top of the other, then switch it!  It is crazy wrong.  And that is just a simple gesture.  Imagine the more intense things of our lives.

Does that get us off the hook when it comes to change?  Not at all, but it does mean we need a new strategy to understand how are behaviors are formed and how to take them in new directions.

Lets start by looking at how we develop our patterns of behavior in the first place.  Don't worry it will not be that technical but in order to intercept the process one needs to understand the cycle.

Feelings become Thoughts, Thoughts become Beliefs, Beliefs become Actions, Actions become Results, which become Feelings and the cycle continues.  Depending on where you are in the cycle regarding something, you can attack it. 

Many feelings come and go, never really entering the world of thought.  But if the same feeling is felt (i.e. love), so begin the thoughts, which translate into beliefs and you see how it works.

How you feel about yourself and others can ultimately have a powerful impact on how you act.  So in order to effect change, one should intercept the feeling when it arises and talk to it.   Often not based on facts, feelings will either shrink back in the light of day or be fortified as truth.  Either way you can stop the thoughts or encourage them to grow.

Next week I will show you how you can use physical activity to intercept behavior and make changes.