Chowdown Showdown: Put an (Onion) Ring On It

What’s more American than onions cut in to rings, breaded, and then deep fried? Okay, there’s probably a few things. But nothing says America to me like good ol’ deep-fried foods. 

Sometimes I’ll turn up at a restaurant and find myself disappointed by the lack of deep-fried options. Or I’ll find that the options they have are only shallow-fried. I want to taste the last 10 years of deep-fried foods when I order my side dish. I’m a simple man. I enjoy simple pleasures. 

Luckily for me, onion rings are fairly common. I thought it’d be nice to put outlets of a similar ilk up against each other.  I figured for this installment of the Showdown, I’d do tavern onion rings.  I went to three bars. Only one served an onion ring. 

So I decided to focus on the dish, regardless of where it came from. I ended up stopping at the Kendall Pub, Smokey’s, and Culver’s. I regret I was unable to find more imaginative outlets. I do not regret all the onion rings I ate this week.   

Kendall Pub serves an onion ring approximately ½ an inch thick, finely (as opposed to coarse) breaded. The integrity of the onion ring was great. Perfectly cooked, the breading was soft but left the ring structure intact.

The star of this onion ring was, as I find to be ideal, the onion. There was an ample flavor-blend between the onion and the breading; however the onion was where 70% of the tastes originated. The breading was crispy, and the ring makes a good sound as you bite in to it. 

The Kendall Pub Good: Great offering of onion rings. Structurally sound, great taste.
The Kendall Pub Bad: The service was a little sluggish. To be fair, there were around 20 folks eating, and only 1 server.   

Smokey’s serves a thinner onion ring than does Kendall Pub, on the order of half the thickness. The diameters of these things were huge, though. The smallest in my order was maybe the same circumference as a 18 oz. Solo cup’s brim. The breading was fine, but very flimsy.

The taste that really carries the melody at Smokey’s is the breading. It must have some level of sugar in it. Very sweet. The onion taste was nearly absent, even after the breading had completely vacated its surface. Darryl’s did it better. 

The Smokey’s Good: Well, they serve an onion ring. And they’re substantial in size. 
The Smokey’s Bad: Not a very physically stable onion ring and there may have been even too much previous side-dish taste. 

Culver’s onion ring is classic. It is probably around the same thickness you’d get at Smokey’s, and you get all variety of diameter. The breading is a good and coarse. The rings hold up to a good bite, but you do occasionally find the onion to be stronger than the breading; leaving you holding a delicious hollow ring of bread.  

The onion taste is strong here.  The breading compliments it well, but may just not have enough of a taste for comment. Also, I had an issue with the consistency. Some rings would just be much harder than others.   

The Culver’s Good: I kind of dig the taste of the onion. The occasional empty sleeve of breading was pretty cool.
The Culver’s Bad: Textures and sizes were inconsistent.  

And the winner is: If I were a dating man and my lady said “Show me around Yorkville, I want a good onion ring,” we’d be headed for It’s the nearest-to-ideal onion ring of the three places I went this week, and I have a feeling onion-eating ladies would be more apt to give you a second date if you took her there. Culver’s is satisfying, but not incredible. Smokey’s is more of a working man’s onion ring; good for a quick lunch.