Health & Fitness
Ways to Ease the Pain...after the loss of a child
I wish I could say that there is one thing you can do to ease the pain that you are feeling...there is not. Our minds are a roller coaster o
- Take a walk - It can be as simple as walking into your backyard or taking a walk in a nature preserve. The key is to feel the sunshine, listen to the birds singing, notice all the sites, sounds and smells around you. At night, I would lay back in a lounge chair, stare up at the stars and wonder what it’s all about.
- Create a keepsake or memorial - I made a quilt out of my son’s tee shirts. He was known for all the crazy tee shirts he wore and I thought it would be a great way to keep my mind occupied for a while. I invited my parents and sister to help with this project. Here are a few more ideas; plant a tree or a rose bush, create a scholarship for your high school, build a memory box. Click on the link for complete instructions on making a tee shirt quilt http://www.instructables.com/id/How-to-make-a-quilt-out-of-old-T-shirts/
- Read a Book - I had so many questions about everything after my son’s accident, why did this happen, what is life all about, what do I believe in. I found that reading helped to answer a lot of my questions and took my mind off the pain (at least for a while). I have a list of books on our website.
- Journaling - I know this is sometimes easier said then done. When I first start to journal, I was angry at the world and all of my writings were sad and depressing. After a while, I found myself writing what I was grateful for (this takes time). Now, whenever I find myself in a rut and feeling down, I try to write at least three things that I am grateful for. Sometimes these are very small things such as, just being able to get out of bed that day or that the sun is shining. Nowadays I am grateful for many things in my life and I thank the universe for them everyday.
- Learn to Meditate - This was something new to me and at first I thought, am I doing this right? There really is no right or wrong way. Just find a quiet place to sit, you can light a candle, play meditation music or just sit quietly. I have links on our website, www.philsupport.com to help you get started.
- Laughter - This is difficult, especially early on! I believed that I would never be able to laugh again. The first time I went out with friends and laughed, I spent the whole next day crying. I felt like I was dishonoring my son by going out and having a good time. Over time, I have come to believe that my son would never want me to sad for the rest of my life (he was a very happy guy), so I honor him now with laughter. It doesn’t mean we have forgotten them or that we don’t miss them.
- Hobbies - Hobbies are a great way to keep your mind distracted. Maybe you had a hobby that you enjoyed as a child? Maybe there’s something you always want to learn to do? Maybe, gardening, cooking, photography, you never know until you try. I built a memorial garden for my son which has become my therapy.
- Volunteer - Go to a community center, a food pantry, a church or look online in your area, there are lots of places that need volunteers. Doing something for others will take the focus off your grief, giving your brain a rest.
