Is Your Relationship EXTRAORDINARY?

Extraordinary relationships are not the result of good luck, great chemistry or convenience. Rather, there are laws of love- skills that need to be practiced and applied- that determine the level of fulfillment that people experience in their marriage or committed relationship.

1. They figure out the “Secret Code” to their partner’s happiness.
In any relationship, each person has to be aware of the other person’s needs in order to know what’s going on. Not knowing a spouse’s needs inevitably leads to frustration and disappointment since, even though a person may feel that he/she is giving everything, they are not giving what the other person needs. The challenge is that people’s deepest needs are often extremely specific and can be tricky to discern. It’s like a “secret code” which, unless it’s discovered, can make a relationship feel impossible. When a partner learns this, they will have full access to what brings out love and happiness in the other. A relationship never breaks up when the partners are meeting all of the others’ needs.

2: They trust each other. Trust is the belief that your partner has good intentions toward you and that they care about you. It is usually built during times of uncertainty and stress; when a person faces an obstacle, a challenge, a crisis or an enemy; and when a partner’s commitment may come under question. Once a certain line has been crossed in terms of trust and respect, it can be difficult to go back. But there is a specific, powerful strategy for restoring trust. If your partner fell in love with you once, you were probably already doing this naturally. This strategy is based 100% on your ability to be PRESENT with your partner. If something is missing in the area of trust and respect, focus on reconnecting yourself with this strategy so that trust can return, leading to more love and intimacy.

3. They Create Connection Through Playfulness & Passion.

Developing and sustaining playfulness and passion in the relationship helps couples to stay together through challenges and difficulties. Couples who are passionate about each other can more easily solve problems with children and extended family and deal with financial difficulties and other crises. Many couples achieve a basis of heartfelt understanding, giving and trust, but they are not able to make the leap to passion and excitement.Claiming (or reclaiming) the playfulness and passion that are in every human being will always take a relationship to a higher level.

4. They Understand the Power of Alignment.

Do you ever feel that whenever you and your partner disagree, the disagreement always comes back to an old topic you’ve discussed again and again? Most relationships have one of those. It can make you feel like you and your partner may not even be compatible. This happens when your relationship is out of alignment. Partners who know the power of alignment have not lost touch with their priorities, their future, how to spend their time and how to give each other what they really want. The good news is, there are specific steps that can help you find alignment once again, and these steps work even without your partner’s participation or knowledge. It is reasonable to expect that the two of you will move through your own personal growth in different ways and at different rates. Accepting that is one important step as you realign with your partner. Knowing your common goals, your vision for the future, understanding individual and common needs will help each individual thrive along his own journey, while providing beacon for you both to “return to center” when you inevitably get off track.

5. They know how to express love and compassion in a way that makes it possible to forgive.

During the course of every relationship, it is inevitable that partners will make mistakes, some big and some small, but it is essential to know when and how to forgive. It is natural for the partner who has been wronged or hurt to develop resentment that can fester for many years and ruin the chance for any happiness. Yet if the resentful spouse values the relationship more than being right and more than being angry, they can find the love and compassion that make forgiveness possible.

Trained in Strategic Interventions for Divorce Prevention through Robbins-Madanes Training, Certified Life Coach Jules Green, M.A., A.C.C. offers a Relationship Seminar Series to develop each of these skills and habit, adapted for use by all couples- straight or gay, married or dating.

Contact Jules [at] julesgreen.com for more info.