Philanderer Exposes Himself at Movie Theater: Best of Craigslist

Don’t worry about Big Brother listening in and watching what you’re texting on your cell phone. This guy has trouble right here in River City.

Reportedly at Jordan Creek Century 20 Cinema in West Des Moines with his family to see “Grown Ups 2,” he was texting a couple of women.

“So if your name is Kari and you're upset that your boyfriend didn't come over tonight … and you've now decided he has another girl, there are actually at least two that we learned about in the two hours we were sitting behind him,” our whistleblower reports.

Cherri, it’s not looking that good for you, either. Your first clue should have been that he wanted to take a nap at 10 p.m. before heading to your place?

“We really did love reading your conversations, guy,” the post continues. “But seriously, work on the spelling, please. My head hurt trying to figure out what you were saying.”

As long as you’re not there with your family, movie theaters do seem to be the place to look for dates, according to this post from Johnston.

In Urbandale, they seem to be following the conventional wisdom that the grocery store is a good place to singles because everyone has to eat. Plus, you’ll get a helpful smile.

In Waukee, they’re looking for love in the drive-through lane – because it sure as heck wasn’t the real thing here.

Someone in Ankeny wonders if that’s romance budding on the high trestle bridge. The Walmart store is another hot spot. If you wear panty hose with shorts and buy cigarettes, he wants to see them up close. The cigarettes?

Here’s a puzzler. If you’re heartbroken and you are trying hard not to think about the heartbreaker, isn’t posting that on Craigslist counterproductive?

Craigslist Shorts

Sir, your thongs are in stock.

Cara Ann, don’t be a loser.

Katie, where did you go?

Should she stop running?

She was so unreasonably beautiful he almost proposed on the spot. That would be unreasonable, right?

Literary Attempts on Craigslist

Stringing together a bunch of fragments doesn’t make it a poem.

This isn’t much of a poem, either. But it is disturbing.

Finally, settle in, because it’s going to take you a while to wade through this unhappy stream of consciousness.