Satire an Art Lost on People Who Post on Craigslist? Or a Weird Librarian Fantasy?

When satire works, it’s great. When it fails, it’s bullying. This cyberthug is no Stephen Colbert.  Or maybe it’s just some weird librarian fantasy. At any rate, made you look – na-na, na-na-na.

Are you high or something? Made you look again.

Patch rant here: There is nothing – nothing – worse than a man who comes on to his wife’s best friend. You diminish both of them, but yourself more. Or maybe Patch is missing something. Please, don’t enlighten. Patch doesn’t want to know.

Around the Patches

Nurse, nurse! He’s got the fever in Ankeny.

In Waukee, is the tongue ring merely ornamental?

In Urbandale, a cute convenience store clerk is a day-brightener.

In Johnston, everything was fine until that old dude walked in. Also, were you making eyes with someone at the Mopar show? Finally, this guy’s looking for his wife in Johnston and wants to know if she wants to meet up for a shake.

In West Des Moines, where did you go? And are you sure that’s what her eyes were saying? If it’s a stupid secret infatuation that makes no sense, why get bent out of shape because your unknown lover failed to sing “Happy Birthday”? Voyeurs, this stream of consciousness is one of the more coherent rants on Craigslist:

“Right at this moment, it is like a knife in my back to find out you are married. When I heard I had to keep smiling while I forgot to breathe for a moment. It's just so pathetic. You will never see this and if you did it wouldn't even register as having to do with you, because we aren't even in the same world. You don't think about me. But I just want to say, out to the world, that for some time in my short life, I was convinced I loved you, or at least I wanted to be in love with you. I looked at you and saw someone who could take me away from here. I wouldn't have to be sad anymore. Do you believe in love in first sight? I ... don't, but I can't get you out of my head, but I will have to. Goodbye.”

Even so – wait for it –  stop wallowing in it.

Marie Would Be About 70 Now ...

This guy from down (always interesting) Fairfield way is desperately seeking Marie. They met a couple of decades ago. She was 50 at the time, he was 33. If you’re Marie, you’ll know where you ate supper and what his first name is. So he’ll know it’s you, tell him how many times you’ve been married and how many children you have. Don’t we all want to know that?

“As Craigslist Turns”: This Week's Soap Opera

This is disturbing. What’s more disturbing is that Patch is actually following this conversation between a MC&BB and, apparently, the air.

Most recently, our friend made spaghetti, CC’s favorite.

Before that, MC&BB asked CC for advice on garden plantings.

And before that, there was some excitement over passing by CC’s workplace.

And before that …

There was hope.

Baby come back.

Moving long …

Stop playing the girls.

Aw. This is nice.

Not like this.

Remember. It’s Iowa. We’re nice.