Best of Craigslist: Not Just for Creepy, Nutzo People Seeking 'Cute' Feet

This just in: Craigslist is not for creepy and nutzo people. She knows this for sure. What a relief because, you know, sometimes, it kind of seems that way.

No, there’s nothing a bubble off plum about checking a site every day to see if someone’s posted anything about missing a connection with you, Sweetheart.

Dorky, as you say, perhaps, but not creepy or nutzo.

At least you’re not alone. Someone else knows “how it feels to look at missed connections every day with anxiety and then notice with disappointment that there is nothing about you.”

It’s a movement, as Arlo Guthrie sang about Group W. (OK, that Group W link wasn’t from Craigslist. It was a freebie for leftover hippies, a gift for having lived through it with most of the brain cells intact, or at least the important ones.)

“I have been checking craigslist missed connections for almost 2 years now daily, curious to see if anyone has ever found me memorable enough to post something on craigslist. I would consider myself a fairly quote-on-quote 'normal' person, but just a bit of a hopeless romantic.

"I know for a fact not just creepy or nutzo people check out this section (it's talked about too much in real life, in blogs, etc. for quote-on-quote "normal" people not to look here)"

(Editor's note: you mean quote-unquote. Sorry, we're sometimes creepy and nutzo about grammar.)

"From the responses I've seen, I know a lot of men check this thing out. But ladies, my PEERS, do you go looking to see if anyone has ever posted about you?"

One the other hand, this sounds creepy.

Around Our Patches

Uber Attractive in Urbandale: “I have seen you many times recently and find you extremely attractive and I love your smile. We have made eye contact several times in the past couple weeks. If you are her and interested let me know and if you think you know who I am I would enjoy talking to you.” 

That doesn’t seem to be enough to go on, but who knows?

This is perhaps a bit more explicit.

Stoking smoking embers in Waukee: You made him act the exhibitionist. If you’re still interested, he’s in town, presumably willing to risk arrest. 

Also in Waukee, the UPS man has a delivery for you.
In West Des Moines, love, or something, pops up when you least expect it.

Wells Fargo worker, it wasn’t really your birthday, was it?

Chad in West Des Moines, Gus is looking for you. He wants to know how you’re doing and “stuff.”

On thing’s for sure. The action’s in Ankeny – at places where people are active. Fitness clubs are especially hot – for a full-body massage and jogger ogling and other workout meet-ups. And then there’s “hoodie love.”

You yelled at him because you thought he was cute, but before he says more, he wants to know what you actually look like  and your ages

All this raises the question anew: Is Craigslist a place where creepy, nutzo people troll?

Get On Your Feet

Not that we’re sayng it’s creepy – who is Patch to judge? – but if you have “cute feet,” you may be able to parlay them into some easy money, regardless of their size. You must have an open mind and two feet. So if you only have one foot, the job’s probably not for you.

You only need “decent looking feet” for this opportunity. Size doesn’t matter here, either.

Creepy or TMI?

Has anyone seen me, wonders a confused woman who’s lost in her head.

“I want to see you and be near you and see if the same thing we have online translates to 3D.”

She’s “DYING” (emphasis not added) to follow through, but doesn’t want to be “that girl.”

Um, that train has maybe left the station?

Here’s the confused part:

“Oh forget it. I don't know why I'm even bothering to post this ad. What could possibly happen? You going to see it, realize how I feel about you and come running over to sweep me into your arms? Riiiiiight. More likely you will read it, chuckle to yourself about how ridiculous I am, then send me something funny to make me smile and laugh and feel better. Well that's good because that's all I need. Yeah. That's right. That's all I need.”

That was an enlightening stream of consciousness, wasn’t it?