Best of Craigslist: What She Flashed at Hooter’s that Made Him Look, Johnston Outhouses and Never-Soiled Bon Jovi Blanket for Sale

It’s as if Craigslist posting maniacs – Patch means that the best possible way – have little Valentine’s Day unrequited love hangovers.

From Ankeny, this week’s soap opera.

Her conscious tells her that telling you how she feels would not be the right thing because you have a girlfriend. If you dumped your girlfriend for her, she’d feel guilty. Egad, can’t have that.. But if you do break up – wait for it – she’s interested.

You know what comes next. But first, some music. The Rolling Stones always know just what to sing in these situations.

“Shadowrunner, come over to my house any time today! I will be home waitingand look forward to your arrival!”

Nope, can’t do it, wouldn’t be prudent.

In West Des Moines, he’s sure he felt Cupid’s arrow at Hooter’s on Thursday.
Take a wild guess about what he noticed first about her.

Well played, sir.

It’s a longshot, but that fragrance smelled of something special in Urbandale.

Was it this?

In Waukee, a brand-new, never snuggled under Bon Jovi blanket – thank the heavens for small favors – can be yours for a mere 40 bucks. Why sell?

Blame It On the Love of Rock ‘n’ Roll.

Speaking of selling things, there’s a hot deal in Johnston on an outhouse. Do city ordinances allow those? Oh, it can double as a chicken “coup” – are some homeless chickens planning a coup d'état? –  or garden shed? Way to keep the neighborhood classy.

Around the Patches

Cynthia, wherever you are, this is for you.

Jenny, he’s got your number, but he’s not going to call if you’ve still got baggage. Jenny Poo, is that you?

But if a playlist that includes Lady Gaga, Adele and Peter Frampton – one of these is not like the others – makes you think, give this number a call.

Time for another musical break, Billie Holiday singing “P.S. I Love You.”

Why this song? Because they don’t, Clueless.

What color is love?

The Best of the Best

Can he get a do-over?

Love on the lam: He felt a connection as your were attempting to burglarize his house. Don’t do it again, as he’d hate to shoot your cute freckled face. He has other ideas where you’re concerned.

And Finally …

An observation: Just because it rhymes doesn’t make it good poetry.

“ … I know what I did and remember what you said/But is the love dead? …"

And on and on and it goes/until you throw up upon your toes.