Best of Johnston Craigslist: Dating, Banking, Politicking for Marijuana Reform and World Peace, Refrigerator with NASCAR Past and Struck Positively Dumb

Here in Iowa, home to the celebrated caucuses, it’s never too early to start thinking about the long march to the White House – even for those folks too young to serve right now.

Ryan Paul Papke of Brooklyn Park, MN is 29, and wants to legalize marijuana and work for world peace.

He implores you not to worry about the age thing. You see, he’s a Democat and if a Democrat wins in 2016, there will be an incumbent for the 2020 race. By 2024, he’ll be old enough. He’ll be 41 then, and still the youngest president on record.

Remember, you read it here first.

It’s also not too soon to start thinking about RAGBRAI. The owner of "The Cool Bus" – do you know it – is looking for a team.You must be interesting, intelligent, good natured in the face of adversity, and fun to be with.

Around the Patches

In Johnston or  Urbandale, has anyone seen her?

Also from Urbandale, one word: Ew.

Here’s a deal from someone in Waukee who wants to sell a refrigerator autographed by NASCAR sprint driver Tony Stewart a few years ago in Knoxville. It’s only $70. Cool? Maybe, but no clue whether the fridge actually cools.

It might go well with this wreck of a table – er, farm table – that costs $300. It’s in Waukee, too, so you can save some money on gas, which you may need to get these things in shape.

In West Des Moines, here’s someone looking  who’s not looking for the same old, same old.

If you relate to this list, you might just relate:

• To each their own.
• If you're bored, you're a boring person.
• I'm all for moderation, but sometimes it seems, moderation itself is a common extreme.
• Be the change you wish to see in the world.
• To remain still may be humanity's greatest challenge.

Sounds about right.

Also in West Des Moines, he may be a turkey, but he’s not chicken. You met on Craigslist or Plenty of Fish (gar and/or carp?).

Kick off your shoes and stay awhile in Waukee because love should be a head-to-toe thing.

Speaking of feet, that music tattoo on your foot made him flip when you were talking on the phone to a guy who sounded like a donkey.


But people aren’t the only ones lost without a mate.  From Ankeny comes a time-worn question about the lonely sock – or in this case, socks.

Drama, Drama, Drama and Purple Underwear

Postscript to Laura: He lied to you and he lied to her. Not that other Craigslist voyeurs  care that much about her:

“So he's a liar, what's your point? and if you really want his wife/girlfriend to know, let her know. Posting here does nothing but feed your need for attention.”

More soap opera drama: You speak of love, your actions say otherwise.   Oye. Hurting you was never his intention.

You struck him dumb: He will make the world your oyster and clasp its pearls around your neck. It could happen.

Boxers or briefs? Honest, he’s not looking for a hookup. He just liked your purple underwear.

Start your own pyramid scheme: Amway’s the way. Your friends may hate you, but it’s free.

Craigslist banking: Tell the truth. Would you fall for this?

Death becomes you: Weird? Seems so.

New twist on “will work for food”: He’s got plenty to eat, but nothing to ride.  Will work for Harley.

The gig’s up: In short, you’re looking for someone to spam, right?