Best of Johnston Craigslist: Lucky Duck? (Not So Much) Alien in the Dumpster?

This does not seem to be OK. Does the duck get a say in all of this?

Surely they don’t mean live ducks. But on Craigslist, you never know.

This is out of this world. Some poor schmuck was chased by an alien, hopped in  dumpster and shared a grilled cheese sandwich, made a hasty exit for a very good reason and, poof, the new friend named Blump had disappeared. Did the alien track our hero’s scent and grab Blump instead?

This guy just needs romance training. Seriously.

Around the Patches

In Ankeny, Irish eyes are are still smiling. Also in Ankeny, gas mask-wearer, who are you?

In West Des Moines, is there a way back from an unpleasant encounter? He couldn’t help it if his aunt’s 61-year-old friend was flirting with him all night. Also in West Des Moines, the  most ridiculous thing ever.

For sale: Redneck wine glasses in Urbandale.  Also in Urbandale, is this code for something else?

Do you need a sledgehammer? Ten bucks will get you one in Waukee. For $240 more, you can also get a soft-sided hot tub with a cracked liner.

From Johnston comes this offer to  barter for Fair Play scoreboard. It’s eight years old and still works. A bit of explanation:  “I was originally planning on painting it cardinal and gold to go with my Iowa State basement but I never got around to it, however it would look great in the colors that match your favorite team.”