When the Holidays Stress You Out, it's time say No.

I just read the most fabulous article in the New York Times. The author takes the position that store bought goods have no place at the common bake sale, and that the unspoken expectation that you bring some of yourself to the bake sale when you bring baked goods, is constantly trampled upon by folks who “don’t have time” to bake.

While reading this amusing point of view, I had a Holiday Epiphany. If you “don’t have time” then don’t volunteer! That’s right, shove aside your (insert appropriate childhood religion) guilt and ignore that little voice whispering in your ear that a Really Good Parent would volunteer until it’s a part time unpaid job. Go ahead and just say No!

Then, I had another holiday Epiphany. I should share with all of you lovely Patch readers what No can sound like when you say it out loud.

 

“I really wish I could, but I just can’t.”

 

What. It’s true. It’s kind, and besides, anyone who has ever managed volunteers knows that a martyr makes trouble more often than not.

Sometimes, you don’t have to say anything, because you aren’t asked. It’s a clipboard with a pen on a string taped to it and you just need to put your hands in your pockets and slowly back away.

Your family and friends are more important than anyone who isn’t among your family and friends, and they really need your time, attention, and love. Give to them first, and then, when your cup is overflowing, give willingly and freely to the rest of the world, without complaint, regret, or martyrdom.

My grandmother used to say, “Honey, climb down off the cross. Jesus has already been there so you don’t have to.”

So, I say to you, in this fair season of giving, if giving is a pain in your rear, or if you are going to end up being one, please say No.

Or better yet, say “I really wish I could, but I just can’t.”