Best of West Des Moines Craigslist Dating: Iron Curtain, Steel Chains and – to Curvy Woman Buying Phone – Will You Have His Baby?

Darlin’, remove the ear buds. They’re the iron curtain of dating. You made eyes at him on the bus and, although “not particularly outgoing,” he knows enough about somethin’ somethin’ to take the hint.

But then he stepped back. What if you weren’t making eyes and instead were staring at a big ol’ booger dangling from his nose?

So, because of those blasted earbuds, he was left to wonder – interested or grossed out by a crusty ball of snot? – until he arrived at the hair salon and could check out his nasal cavity for offending matter.

“Well, I will have you know that upon arriving at the haircutter's, I went into the bathroom to discover a booger-less under-nostril area,” our hero reports. “Furthermore, I could detect no glaring physical imperfections that would have caught your attention, especially from four seats away and across the aisle. This leads me to believe that you were, in fact, making eyes at me today on the bus.”

And speaking of eyes, she had him with hers.

And she needs to stop the river of tears pouring from hers.

"I know this is a very long shot that you will see this but I just have to get this out. I miss you so much. It's been months since I've seen you and now that your w her you don't have time to even talk to me anymore. I miss our movie nights, our long random pointless conversations, our little parties. But most of all I miss you. Your smile, your sexy eyes, your smell, your bear hugs, your perverted sense of humor. I miss cuddling w you just cuz we were cold. I know we are just friends but I have told you so many times how much I really care for you and honestly would love nothing more than to be that lucky girl, but I am taking what I can get I guess. Please I really miss my best friend and wish you would come back. I almost feel lost with out you around, you are the only one who seems to care about what I'm going through in my life and without out your love and encouragement I am so lost right now."

Finally, Some Questions

Will you have his baby?

Will you buy some heavy duty chains?

Want to shoot some pool?

Can you offer a low-budget solution for necessary discretion?