A Valentine's Wish: Closure (Blog)

Yesterday, we learned some incredible news that I wanted to share in honor of Valentine’s Day.

After over a year of being denied closure, recognition, and basic decency, Jenny and Jessica Buntemeyer have received an accurate death certificate for Brayden, their stillborn son, listing both mothers. Instead of appealing a December ruling by the Polk County District Court in Buntemeyer v. Iowa Department of Public Health, the Iowa Department of Public Health (IDPH) will no longer delay justice for this family.

Their story began with love. Jenny and Jessica met in 2008 while serving our country in Iraq. They fell in love, and began the happy journey building their lives together. They married in Iowa on October 8, 2010, and started planning a family together. From the happy news that they were expecting, to the morning sickness, to picking out a name, Jenny and Jessica were parents from the very beginning.

On October 21, 2011, Jessica gave birth in Iowa to Brayden Bruce Buntemeyer, at 30 weeks’ gestation. He died in utero prior to labor after his umbilical cord became wound around his neck.

Jenny and Jessica were heartbroken.

When it came to filling out the paperwork—a truly trying time for any family—Jessica filled out the boxes for “mother” and Jenny filled out the boxes marked “father” on the fetal death certificate. These were the only options on the form for a second parent. On January 12, 2012, the Iowa Department of Public Health issued them a death certificate on which someone had erased Jenny’s name and identifying information.

When they erased one of Brayden’s parents, the IDPH denied the months of love and commitment and planning that Jenny invested into their new family, and they denied Brayden the legal recognition that he had two parents.

Lambda Legal filed the petition on behalf of the Buntemeyer family. Lambda Legal was joined by co-counsel Sharon Malheiro, One Iowa board chair. On December 12, the Polk County District Court found that the IDPH violated the state Constitution by denying them an accurate fetal death certificate, and that any child born to a legally married couple has two parents. And so, the IDPH was ordered to fix the form and send back an accurate document that recognized both Jenny and Jessica as Brayden’s parents.

The IDPH has decided not to appeal this ruling and finally issued an accurate death certificate, giving the Buntemeyer family a document that confirms their legal ties to their son. After years of grief and heartache, the Buntemeyer family may finally begin to find closure. For this moment, for this family, this is a victory.

Today, Jenny and Jessica have a beautiful family and they honor the memory of Brayden every day. It is my Valentine’s Day hope that their home is always filled with love, and that they can finally find some closure.

We look forward to the day when Iowa families no longer endure the pain and heartbreak of being denied legal ties to their own children. One Iowa will not stop fighting until we achieve full equality for LGBT people and their families and children.

One Iowa would especially like to thank the hardworking and dedicated staff at Lambda Legal for their tireless commitment to justice for the Buntemeyer family.