Helping Children with Autism Enjoy the Holidays

It’s the most wonderful time of the year...except when it isn’t.  For children with autism spectrum disorders, the holiday season can be very stressful.  Below are some ideas on how families can help children manage the stress of the holidays:

Daylight Savings Time:  While we love the extra hour of sleep, children with autism already have difficulty with sleep rhythms and any small change can cause major setbacks.  When “falling back”, it may help to move clocks back Friday night instead of waiting until Sunday night and then managing schedule changes during the work/school week.  Studies have shown that exercise can help the body adjust to the new schedule; wake your child on Saturday at the new time and go for a walk.  Be careful not to let your child nap throughout the day and try to keep your child busy so they are tired at bedtime.

Colder Weather: Cold weather brings fun in the snow, but it also brings bulky and itchy clothing.  Consider outerwear that minimizes bulk.  Make sure that children test clothing before purchasing and ensure that items closest to the skin, such as hats and scarves, are made of soft materials free from seams and tags.  Practice wearing items like boots around the house before the first big snowfall. Some children find tight fitting undergarments, like Under Armour cold gear, very soothing. This can help create warmth and provide sensory relief without adding bulk.

Holiday Decorations: Decorations are beautiful, but they can also be over stimulating.  In addition, we often re-arrange our house to accommodate Christmas trees and additional dining.  Consider limiting decorations in your child’s most preferred room of the home.  If not possible, consider removing or storing extra furniture to prevent over-crowding.  In addition, try to keep your child’s bedroom free from holiday decorations, clutter, and out-of-town visitors.  Your child will appreciate having one room that remains constant throughout the holiday season.

Holiday Festivities: Who doesn’t love Grandma’s famous stuffing or Aunt Suzie’s impromptu caroling?  Children with autism may find the disruption in schedules and meals unsettling.  In addition, the extra commotion of travel time, crowded rooms, busy malls, and unfamiliar people draped in perfumed itchy clothes leaning in for a hug can be anxiety provoking for any child, especially those with autism. The holiday season can be stressful for adults, which transfers to stress in children.   To maintain routines while still developing flexibility, consider bringing one or two of your child’s favorite foods to holiday meals. If you prompt your child in front of others to greet with “hello” and a handshake, others will likely extend a hand instead of leaning in for the kiss and hug.  Consider shopping early in the morning when malls are less crowded, or shop online.  Finally, try to take care of yourself and engage in fun activities with your child that is a stress relief for you both.

It is important to encourage flexibility and socialization in children with autism.  The holiday season presents a great opportunity to practice newly learned skills.  At the same time, it is a lot of change all at once and the additional sensory inputs can be over-stimulating, which can result in tantrums and other unwanted behaviors.  It is helpful to schedule events in short time frames surrounded by highly structured, normal routines. Consider posting a schedule of holiday events with pictures from last year’s festivities.  Preparing “what to expect” books of what the child can expect at each event can be very helpful. Include pictures of people they might see, foods they might eat, decorations they may see, and information about a safe space where they can go if they need a break.  Read the books frequently for weeks leading up to the events.  Practice greetings, unwrapping gifts, eating holiday foods, and other activities before the big day.  

When visiting others, consider packing comfort items like portable game systems, blankets, or other toys.  While some parents prefer that their child not spend time playing in a room alone, the child may need some time removed from the commotion.  Set timers for how long the child must spend with the crowd and how much time they can spend alone so they get a balance of each.

Your child may exhibit more stimming behaviors (repititive behaviors such as flapping hands or jumping) during the holidays. These behaviors can be a source of comfort and may help your child cope with the increased demands; do not try to stop the behaviors. It may be helpful to send out an email to family explaining these behaviors so those unfamiliar with your child will not react poorly.  Helping others understand the unique gifts and needs of your child will reduce your stress and the stress of your child. 

Finally, don’t forget to celebrate in a way that feels like a celebration to your child.  It is the time of year to cherish family, renew the spirit, and celebrate each other.  Your holiday doesn’t have to look like everyone else’s-it just has to be special to you, your child, and your family.  Happy Holidays!