4 Relationship Killers! Steer clear of them this Holiday Season!

During this holiday season, we are often trying to improve our relationship with our significant other, partner, fiancé or spouse. However, there are specific relationship killers that breakdown the relationship rather than restore it. Below are 4 relationship killers you should be sure to avoid:

1. The act of disengagement! We can slowly begin to disengage from the relationship. You may notice that your loved one has: stopped calling as much, is less interested in what you are doing in your day to day activities, does not touch you as much, does not have many nice things to say, and does not share their feelings or ask about yours. Disengagement slowly poisons the relationship. Resist it by staying connected to your loved one, even when every fiber in your body wants to pull away! “

2. Harsh Words. We really need to think before we speak. Harsh words can cut our loved one down to the heart. When in a committed relationship, we have become vulnerable to each other. Knowing that the other person has opened up to us, we should be thoughtful of what we say. Never call your spouse names, Never put him or her down, Never talk about him or her negatively to your friends and family, Never curse at him or her, Never use past secrets shared with you to hurt your spouse. Speak kindness, speak the truth, and speak love.

3. Sarcasm and The “Wrong Tone”. Sarcasm and speaking in the wrong tone of voice can shut down communication in your relationship. How can one feel safe to share with you all of his or her feelings if you ridicule, laugh, make snide comments, or never take him or her seriously? Watch your tone! You may say something amazingly wise or insightful; however your spouse will never hear it because your tone is rude, sarcastic or dismissive!

4. Holding Back Love and Affection. We need love in our relationships! Show your loved one love by telling him or her how much you care, tell him or her things you find special. Touch your spouse’s hair, arm, hand, leg, and/or back when talking or passing by. Smile!!!!! Do not frown all the time. Show enthusiasm when he or she gets home or walks in the room. Seem excited when he or she talks to you.

Resist the 4 relationship killers during the Holiday Season and choose to love your spouse with the all the love you can give!

Learn more about how to keep your Marriage On Fire at our Renew and Revitalize Marriage Conference on February 20th and 21st, 2015! We are having an amazing Holiday Sale! For more information and to register today, go to www.renewandrevitalize.com or email us at info@renewandrevitalize.com.

Written by Carisa Oyebanjo, LCPC, NCC (www.hmstherapy.com)