DVD Review: Ted (teddy bear adult movie)

. . . writing, love unbelievable, violence and vulgarity, rowdy language, partial nudity, racial and ethnic jokes, drugs, sexual innuendo)

Ted, with an older Mark Wahlberg and the younger Mila Kunis (Universal Pictures, 2012, 220 minutes, Rated R) (Not Rated and Unrated versions also available.)

The best part of Ted is the cover (and the car chase near the end, ending in Fenway Park [which came too late for those viewers who walked out]). We so looked forward to seeing this delightful teddy bear in action. I would still love my own stuffie Ted – but a silent Ted.

Violence, nudity, foul language, non-magic, kidnapping (well, OK, bear napping), profane language and gestures – what more could a young-at-heart immature “adult” ask for in a film to guffaw at with the guys, while guzzling, perhaps?

Still, Ted is one adorable teddy bear with a stylish silhouette like Winnie the Pooh.

Versions

The theatrical version (with documentary) plus the unrated version are bonuses on the DVD, along with a gag reel (these are never really funny).

Thunderbuddies for Life

A boy receives a teddy bear for Christmas, and, being bullied, needs a best bud. He makes a wish, which comes true – that his Ted becomes that best friend for ever and ever (and talks). Both the boy and the teddy are afraid of thunder (for life) but survive it when together as thunderbuddies - for life.

Later, the boy becomes a man living with a woman in a 4-year relationship, a triangle that doesn’t work – the man, the woman, the teddy. So, out goes the Ted. To be “bear-napped.”

Debate, Decision

We debated whether or not to post this review, for two reasons: it is not a dog movie and it is not an excellent review. We decided to go ahead for two reasons: we will immediately follow it up with a dog movie (Beethoven, a classic) review that is excellent plus this DVD was so successful that anything we say will be drowned out – there is already a sequel out plus Ted 3 came out last month (June 2018).