I've Been Busy...

I recently received an email from one of my many sisters-in-law begging me to please do another column since she had been sorely missing my wit and perspective in the weeks since I . More accurately, she asked if I'd quit blogging, but when I relayed the conversation to my husband, I chose to read between the lines and express her absolute longing for a blog post from me due, of course, to my very high entertainment factor. After many years of living together, my husband can read between MY lines, and clarified: "So...Lana said hello?" Regardless, her email has propelled me to get back on the horse—purely in justification of my silence over the last few weeks.  

I'm busy. No, not really. In fact, if you ask my husband, he'll say that life is no different than it's ever been—that the house is just as clean (okay, just as messy); that I read just as many books (as if I would ever tell him just how much time I spend reading); that the laundry is still always piled up (hey, I only wear 1/6 of those clothes...and probably not even that since I WILL wear a pair of sweatpants for four days straight); and I have remained consistent in my complaint regarding "being so busy" for the last nine years.

So maybe nothing has changed...but really, I think a lot has.

For one thing, Micah doesn't nap as often as she used to. While this is great in many ways (i.e., she sleeps better at night), it's not so good for me when I want to sit at the computer for 30 minutes. She likes to type, too, and that makes for an immense amount of editorial work.

Plus, I finally gave in to my husband's pleas (and my own level of boredom) and started teaching again. So now, when I do have time to sit at a computer, I'm creating lectures or grading exams (which is exactly what I should be doing right now, but am not).

And the older kids are back to school now. During the summer, I couldn't write as much because they were always here and needed me to be ever-present, giving them ideas for what to play with and who to play with and how to play:

Child: There's nothing to DOOOOOOOO!!!!!
Me: I have chores you can do.
Child: I don't WANT to do chores.
Me: How about you read a book or practice your multiplication tables?
Child: I don't WANT to read or do homework. I want to play with someone.
Me: Hey, GREAT. You'll be happy to know that your father and I decided to have four children... and that means you have three siblings to play with. Aren't you thrilled?
Child: I don't WANT to play with any of them.
Me: Then play with the dog that you begged for.
Child: MOOOOOMMMMMMMM!!!!
Me: Outside NOW and find something to do before I find something for you to do that I guarantee you won't enjoy.  

Those conversations took up at least 42 percent of my summer.  

The other 58 percent was spent doing the same old laundry, cleaning and reading of books. (Hey, a momma's got to have her fantasy world too.)

Now the kids are back to school; but instead of having extra time, I'm having to get up early, make sure lunches are packed, breakfast is eaten, and that Kayton is not wearing her pajama pants to school. If I'm lucky, I have time to enforce hair brushing. I'm not always that lucky.

On top of the kids being back to school, college is back in session and two days a week I am teaching 50-odd community college students what it's going to take to be successful in business. The hard part is biting my tongue and not saying, "Step 1: Leave community college and go get your degree at a four-year university."

Okay, I admit, I have said that. But, lucky for me (since this is my job), and lucky for the community college (since this is how they stay in business), no matter what I say, there are an amazing number of students who are going to ignore that advice and believe that their Associates degree is going to earn them a fabulous job with a lifestyle-changing income. Hey, an Associates is better than nothing.

That's two days a week, which still leaves me five for writing. But another day is spent doing very little (by which I mean talking to myself) in preparation for my English as a Second Language (ESL) tutoring. Honestly, I love tutoring ESL. And it's not just because of the immense fun I get from explaining to my student that "I woke up and gave my husband breast" is not really an appropriate conversation for the class, despite how wonderful it must be to be her husband in the morning. My husband never gets breast in the morning. They are reserved for a baby. To clarify, my student meant "breakfast"...which I figured out after even more awkward conversation regarding "eat" and "yummy, yummy" and "he has to have it before work" and sign language involving putting things in mouth and chewing. Hey, to each his own. Who am I to criticize whatever makes a marriage work?

Even after this, I still have four days left to write. One of those days has to be a "catch-up" day to account for my absence from home the other three. And one day is a "relax" day in which I do nothing to make up for all the hard work I've done the other five days. And Saturday, I have Mason's soccer games....and Sunday is church and family day....so. There you have it. No time for blogging.

Just think: If I had a full-time job, my kids would be running around half-naked (as if they don't already), my house would be a mess (hey, no, it's not always), and dinner would always be spaghetti since it's darn easy to make. (We only have spaghetti one night a week...or maybe two, since that's the only thing JMahl cooks and, heck, if he's cooking, I am not going to complain about spaghetti for dinner AGAIN.)

So you see...finding the time to write this column may not be as easy as you may think for a Stay-At-Home Mom with very little else on her plate. In fact, the only reason I'm finding time to write now is because my two little girls both got up crazy early and passed out on the floor while I was looking for my corkscrew, and now I've got a glass of wine in me and the compulsion to write.

Heck, it's Friday. This is my "relax and do nothing constructive" day. Count your blessings that I'm blogging again.