People Are Funny

People are funny. Most of the time, they don’t intend to be funny. But if people weren’t funny the world would be a dreadful place to live. Here are some funny moments that I’ve enjoyed.

Although this happened decades ago, our family still remembers the call with fond chuckles. Early in my brother’s career as an elementary instrumental music teacher, he was still living with my parents. My dad and brother share a first name. One evening my dad answered a phone call from one of Bob’s young students. When the child asked for Mr. Powers my dad politely asked, “Jr. or Sr.?” The child quickly responded: “Oh no, I’m just elementary.”

As most of you know, Carroll & I own the . Some of the questions we receive leave us scratching our heads, wondering what the person was really thinking. Here are a few of our favorites:

1. Does the Lantern Queen go out on the water? Although I really do understand that there are many dinner boats are permanently moored, I still get tickled when I have to answer it. And what’s worse, the little devil on my shoulder wants to reply, “Nope, it runs right up Union Ave.”
2. Do I have to stay for the whole cruise? This is my all-time favorite. Our crew has a variety of suggested answers, all of which involve swimming and life jackets.
3. On which side of the boat should I sit to see the water? This is asked ON the boat, and you can see the water from both sides of the boat, even when it’s moored.
4. How long is your “two hour dinner cruise?” Huh?
5. Do I have to eat both entrees? What I WANT to answer is: “No, and we don’t check to see if you cleaned your plate either.”
6. Which end is the front of the boat? Asked from the Hutchins Park pier, looking at the Lantern Queen Riverboat. As Capt. Steve says, “Those big red turny-things are on the back of the boat.”
7. What’s the difference between the Lantern Queen and the Martha Lewis? When asked, the person assured me that they’d seen photos of both boats.
8.  I’m making reservations for a cruise on __ (a date more than a month away.) Will the weather be nice that evening?
9. Does the (choose one: paddlewheels, ship’s wheel in the pilot house, whistle, gangway, etc.) really work? Ironically the only blatantly fake thing on the Lantern Queen is the smokestacks, and no one ever asks about them!
10. I want to get married on the Lantern Queen Riverboat. If one of your captains marries us, will we still be married on land? The little devil on my shoulder is working overtime on this one!
11. I want to get married on the Lantern Queen Riverboat, and I need to know if your captains are attractive. Another version asks how tall our captains are.
12. And my all time favorite phone greeting (when calling the Lantern Queen Riverboat office): “Is this the Martha Stewart?” So far I’ve resisted replying, “No, I believe she lives in Connecticut.”

Honestly, without some rib-ticklers like these, my days would be awfully dull. I thoroughly enjoy working with each one of our customers, but at the end of the day, the funny moments are the ones I remember best.

We’ve all heard silly questions, and we’ve all probably asked them. How about sharing your favorite head-scratchers?