Brought-Up-Ness, Havre de Grace Style

Our family just returned from a road trip to Tennessee. It was an interesting trip on many levels. But over and over the subject of "brought-up-ness" came up in many forms. 

Let me start by saying that I lump hospitality, good manners, and generally behaving well into something called, “Brought-up-ness.” To my knowledge this term was coined by my late cousin, Patti Craft McAndrews, a native of Ashland, KY and a Baptist Church secretary, who later settled in Philadelphia. When we’d be out somewhere and spy someone being rude, Patti would whisper, “He just doesn’t have any brought-up-ness.” And I knew exactly what she meant.

What is summer without road construction? And we seemed to find lane closures everywhere we turned. But as we slowly rolled through the construction areas Carroll mused that no cars were jumping into the soon-to-be-closed-lane to get a jump on the back up. Nope, every car (and tractor trailer) was patiently waiting their turn in miserably hot weather. No honking horns, no mean gestures, just patience, goodwill and brought-up-ness.

When we reached Roanoke, VA we hopped off the highway in search of a convenience store. (Seriously, the South NEEDS Wawa and Royal Farms!) We did find a Sheetz store. As we approached the door an older fellow, dressed pretty raggedy, with an equally scraggly beard, opened the door and held it for us as he warmly greeted us, “How ya’ll doin’?” And he sounded sincere! Once in the store, Carroll & I began  scanning the store for the “Restroom” signs.  Someone tapped me on the shoulder and it was our “greeter,” helpfully pointing us to the restrooms. We chuckled and headed in the right direction. As we approached the checkout stand with our beverages and snacks, we noticed a slightly older, slightly larger Danny Devito look-a-like, doing an animated two-step in front of us in line. No joke—he was dancing up a storm. No one laughed, or even gave him a second look. And he was just as joyful as he could be, grinning at the world.  When we reached the clerk, she greeted us very warmly, asked if we found everything ok, and if there was anything we needed—with a big smile on her face. Now understand, these smiles weren’t the cheesy, pasted on, corporate-we-have-to-be-nice-to-customer smiles. These were warm, genuine, I’m-happy-to-be-alive kind of smiles.  We got back in the car and Carroll said, “Wow, that’s the friendliest place I’ve ever been.” And you know what? Roanoke, VA and Sheetz convenience stores will always be mentally linked with this experience in our minds. Yup, all those folks had brought-up-ness.

Our entire trip was filled with similar experiences. And it started me thinking, “What do folks experience when they come to Havre de Grace?” 

Havre de Grace’s greeters often aren’t the wonderful volunteers in the , or even our wonderfully helpful and friendly shop owners. Nope, Havre de Grace’s “greeters” are the first folks you meet: convenience store clerks and customers, fast food workers, restaurant servers, or passersby on the sidewalk.

I’ve heard stories about Havre de Grace’s hospitality, some are charming and some are funny. Mayor Dougherty tells me that he and Mary often offer front porch lemonade and directions to wandering tourists, and Captain Steve Weisbrod offers rides to downtown pedestrians, assuring them that “muggers don’t wear captain’s uniforms.” I know B&B owners who’ve gone the extra mile for folks unexpectedly in Havre de Grace for the night. And I’ve witnessed folks from both the American Legion and the VFW making sure that visitors are welcome.

Ironically, I started mentally creating this blog post early this morning, figuring I’d get a chance to sit down and type it out this afternoon. I’d promised our granddaughter that I’d take her shopping this morning. So, I decided to pay special attention to see who greeted whom today. seemed the perfect choice for our shopping trip. A few seconds after we entered the shop both George and Barbara Wagner came from opposite directions, greeting us warmly. A few minutes later in walks Mayor Dougherty. A couple of tourists had come in, and Barbara was able to say, “I’d like to introduce you to our Mayor, Wayne Dougherty.” Yup, those folks had a “Havre de Grace moment!”

Whether you want to call it random acts of kindness, southern hospitality, good business, or brought-up-ness, it doesn’t matter. What does matter is that we have large quantities of the friendly good manners that makes people not only enjoy their stay but want to “come back soon, you hear?”