Christmas and Divorced/Separated Families

Christmas is one of the most special times of the years to make memories as a family. For many families, though, this holiday can be very stressful. For some this year will be their first spending the holidays as a divorced family. This means that the children will either have to spend the holiday with one parent or share the day between two parents. Here are some tips for how to make this Christmas the best it can be even in the midst of divorce. 

Most importantly, acknowledge the loss you and your children may be feeling at this time. Helping children express their negative and positive emotions at an early age assists them in having healthy relationships later in life. Encourage them to express their feelings about the holidays through verbal and non-verbal communication. Possibly drawing a picture of how Christmas will look this year for their family, joining a support group for children dealing with parents who are divorced, journaling, music, are all healthy ways to express negative emotions. 

Instead of Christmas being a day to mourn the loss of traditions kept by the prior family, consider starting some new traditions. Open presents at a different time or a different way. Make a special family ornament to remember the year. Start by reading the Christmas story out of the Bible. Go to a , watch a special new movie be creative and let the kids have fun coming up with new ways to re-create some fun Christmas traditions they can continue with their children. 

Thirdly, consider serving others during this Christmas season. Many times serving others less fortunate than you creates a sense of thankfulness for what you do still have in your life. 

Lastly, be sure you and your children have a support system around you. Surround yourself with positive friends, family members, and church friends. If you do not have a positive support system, consider joining a divorce support group at your local church or community center. 

Remember Christmas is not about who gets the most presents, about Santa, and not even the great food. Christmas is celebrating the birth of Christ. The willingness of the God of the universe to come make himself fully human and come to understand our pain and suffering we will go through in this life. When dealing with divorce remember that God is near to your pain if you look for him. 

Elizabeth Bousa
Marriage & Family Therapist
Family & Couple Therapy Services Forest Hill, MD
Administrative Assistant to Restore Church, HdG