Goody Bag Grumbling

One of the photo captions accompanying the New York Times story “Tempest in a Goody Bag” sums it up nicely: “Goody bags full of cheap toys can send the wrong message to children, some parents say.”

We’ve all been on the receiving end of the ubiquitous goody bag, traditionally given out upon the conclusion of a children’s birthday party. Most of us have even distributed them after our own They usually include some low-cost trinkets that tie into the theme of the party, maybe some Play-Doh or stickers, and definitely a piece or two of candy.

I have and it was just a couple months ago, when my daughter turned 4. As her buddies have all been turning 4 en masse since last fall, we’ve been to a bunch of parties lately, and the goody bags have all been pretty much the same. As an example, I’ll volunteer the contents of our goody bags: We filled small plastic Toy Story bags, each with a Toy Story Pez dispenser and temporary tattoos, a ring pop, and some Smarties.

There are plenty of opinions about what exactly should go inside the bags. According to some of the moms interviewed by the Times, the goody bags I put together for Lucy and her friends were all wrong. When goody bags are essentially filled with cheap plastic and a sugar high, some argue we are sending kids the wrong idea, teaching them to give into our disposable culture.

I looked at it completely differently. I chose things for the bags based on what I knew Lucy herself would like. After all, it was her party and she’s just a little kid. The whole idea behind was that it was supposed to be fun for her and her friends. I knew what we were giving was short-lived fun, and also disposable – because parents, don’t we all secretly toss the favors after a week or two after the fun has been eked out of them and when nobody is looking and you-know-who is napping? (I personally have trouble throwing things whenever a toy has a face, though, especially the Toy Story gang who comes to life in the movies.)

Other mothers mentioned in the Times story had gone way in the other direction when preparing goody bags for their kids’ parties. Tales of American Girl dolls and tennis racquets for each little party go-er blew my mind, as did the parents who made a charitable donation in each guest’s name. Don’t get me wrong, the latter is a great idea, especially when it’s true that my kids have everything they need and many in the world do not. And I tried my best to hammer home the point to Lucy that the real gift was getting together with her friends and having fun celebrating her big day. But she’s still so little that it was hard to make her understand that togetherness was the best part. Let’s face it, kids are focused on the , whether it’s their birthday or if they are guests at the party. Again, I think it has to be brought back to the kids and meeting them where they are.