Love's Murder Sparks Unsettling Memories

After my first day covering the , I headed over to Boylan Heights, a Charlottesville bar and restaurant where murder victim Yeardley Love spent a night out with friends just days before her death.

The trial yielded little news that Thursday since the early so I decided to retrace some of Love's steps.

As I sat at the bar, nursing my vodka tonic, I couldn't help but feel strange, unsettled.

The atmosphere was similar to that of any college town bar—students passing around pitchers of beer, yelling at whatever sports game was playing on the flat screen televisions mounted to the walls. 

Until then, I had been largely unaffected . But, unexpectedly, I felt my chest tighten and throat swell while in the bar.

Just hours before the beating that ultimately led to her death, Love was happy and content—laughing and embracing her friends, including Huguely. Alina Massaro, the defendant's aunt and godmother who was there that night, later recounted this pleasant scene in

Despite us both being girls from the Baltimore area who played lacrosse, Love and I never crossed paths—at least not to my knowledge. (Being the same age, we may have played against each other in lacrosse.)

Still, that night, I felt oddly close to her.

Huguely's defense blamed —by both the defendant and Love—as a large contributing factor to the latter's death. And while their story came to a tragic end, domestic disputes fueled by alcohol are far too common among the college crowd.

During my senior year at the University of Maryland, Baltimore County, I had a friend who was involved in a very turbulent, sometimes aggressive, relationship. Often, after a night of heavy partying and drinking, the couple would erupt into a loud argument in her bedroom. Sometimes I would hear loud banging.

When I confronted her about what I heard, she would say that she and her boyfriend were just wrestling and getting out their frustrations. Funny, "wrestling" is the Huguely's lawyer Francis McQ. Lawrence used to describe his client's actions.

The year before, I had another friend who told me that her boyfriend, in a drunken stupor, said that she should warn her roommates to stay away from our apartment because he was planning on setting it on fire to kill her. He was also apparently going to gun her down if she tried to escape.

Still, no matter how much I, and other friends, tried to counsel these girls and alert university officials, they were unwilling to give up on their relationships. The first roommate I mentioned once told me that she didn't think she could do better than that boyfriend.

According to the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence, constant alcohol abuse is a leading factor in violence between couples. And, attacks coupled with alcohol abuse can be more severe and cause greater injuries. The National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism states that half of college students who drink have binged. A College Task Force report by the NIAAA indicates "that drinking by college students aged 18 to 24 contributes to an estimated 1,825 student deaths, 599,000 injuries, and 97,000 cases of sexual assault or date rape each year."

In his closing statement on Saturday, Lawrence referred to volatile behavior among college students and said, "That's what these kids do."

Sadly, in my experience, he's not too far off base.

Had she lived, Love would have graduated in the spring of 2010 with a degree in political science, like I did. In the two years since, I've had my first adult job, moved into my first off-campus apartment and had my . Unfortunately, no one will ever never know where life would have taken Love.

I'd like to hope that beyond the media frenzy and sensational details surrounding Love's death, that girls in abusive relationships realize that they can always do better, no matter how hard it is to walk away.

One day the violence—mixed with alcohol—may go too far.