The Kids Are All Right

Before I had children of my own, kids throwing tantrums in public used to frighten me. I remember thinking, “Whew! Would you look at that. No way am I having kids. But if I do, I know they won’t act like that.”

Of course, the . Every kid will throw a fit in public at some point - make that at several points – in their wee little lives. It’s just a fact of life, and accepting that just makes it that much easier, especially in the moment when your child is in the throes of a fit in the middle of a grocery store (Lucy once started tossing food out of the cart at Wegmans) or during the big birthday party you’ve thrown for her and all of her buddies from preschool.

Today, as a , I have a totally different view of other people’s kids having a meltdown in front of the world. It’s not that I enjoy watching temporarily irrational children get upset and feel miserable while also making their parents miserable and embarrassed to some degree. Nope, I like the public tantrums for a whole other reason: because they make me feel like my own kids’ errant behavior is completely normal.

For instance, it seems like there is at least one – my own definitely included - at every birthday party we go to these days. My hunch is that it’s all just a little bit too much fun and a little stressful and despite all the attention (or maybe because of it), the good times become a little overwhelming and whammo, junior or juniorette is having a meltdown.

This revelation that all kids freak out at some point was one of the most reassuring parenting moments I’ve ever had. It also instantly brought me a feeling of solidarity with every other parent in the world. Now when I see a public display of kid craziness, I don’t want to run and hide. Instead, I try to send the and subliminal pat on the back that says, “This, too, shall pass, and any minute now, I will be in your shoes.”