Making it Stick this Year

With the New Year here again, I know for a lot of people it’s also time to revive the same resolution made last year. I tend to do that myself, and just like many others, throughout the year I lament the fact that I haven’t carried through on it.

Americans are big on self-improvement. At least I know that’s true for me. So it’s probably not odd that there’s a holiday when people actually sit down and try to figure out how they are going to improve themselves this year.

I just read Willpower: Rediscovering the Greatest Human Strength, by a social psychologist and a NY Times journalist. Their advice on making resolutions: only make one. Apparently our willpower is like a muscle – there are limits to its strength, although it can be built up over time. Ever had that feeling of total exhaustion after doing your second pull-up? Yeah, that can happen to the willpower in your brain. What revives your willpower? Sleep and food. So, good luck to all the dieters. Being hungry literally saps your willpower, the very thing you need to resist temptations, such as the Berger cookies left over from your holiday party.

As a pastor, I’ve learned that personal growth throughout Christian history involves the practice of confessing sins. Some people confess to a priest, others confess along with everybody else using the printed prayer in worship, some confess to the people they’ve hurt, and others confess to God. And I suspect that all this confessing can give the impression of Christianity as a dour and judgmental religion. Certainly compared to something like “The Secret” or other practices of positive thinking, confession is pretty Debbie Downer. Why think about things you don’t like about yourself, when you can make good things happen to you by believing really hard instead?

And yet somehow positive thinking brings us around to the same problem, except instead of remembering sins and admitting to them, it looks more like that familiar old New Year’s Resolution once again: lose weight, quit smoking, keep in touch, exercise more, and get organized. It seems to me that confession and resolutions are two sides of the same coin. Or, resolve comes from facing our faults honestly.

But aside from moral clarity, there’s another benefit to confession. Confession puts us in contact with someone who can forgive us and release us from the ruts we’re used to traveling.

If I make a resolution and I fail at it, well, too bad for me. Time to grab the bootstraps again next year. But confession is about restoring a relationship, and that relationship can be one that frees and supports us in our journey to become fully human. 

Two of 2010’s top New Year’s resolutions were to be in touch with family and friends and to volunteer to help others more. I don’t think it’s a coincidence that we’re looking to reach out to each other and to those in need. I hope this year your life is better because you resolve to connect with your spirituality, your loved ones, and with making the world a better place.

Although now that I think about it, you should probably pick just one resolution if you really want it to stick.