Megan’s Poopy List (because I can’t use the “s-word”)

My esteemed fellow blogger wrote a great post called I agreed with some of the items on his list (Twitter, Ashton Kutcher, camping), and disagreed with others (Johnny Depp, having kids, iEverything). Either way, his post inspired me to come up with my own list. And while it would so much nicer to write about the things I like, we all know its way more fun to write about the things that just drive us crazy.  So, I present to you, the “Megan’s Poopy List” of people who drive me absolutely crazy. (The opinions expressed herein are all mine and are in no way reflect the opinions of The Patch or its awesome editor, Tim Lemke.)

1. People who write checks. If you’re friends with me on Facebook, you’ve seen the posts. I always get stuck behind someone writing a check at the grocery store. AND, it’s NOT always a grey-haired old lady. Come on people, it’s 2012. Get a debit card! Join the 21st century! Or beware my wrath. There’s a special place in hell for these people.

2. People who back into parking spaces. I honestly don’t even know where to start. What is so friggin’ great about being able to pull out of a parking space with your car facing out? Did it really save you that much time and trouble? Was it worth making me wait for you to get your giant Escalade/Navigator/Suburban into that spot? Are you happy now?

3. People who linger at quick service restaurants. Look, you didn’t buy the seat, you bought a Happy Meal or an ice cream cone or a taco. That doesn’t give you the right to sit there all friggin’ day while I have no where to sit. Can you see me holding my tray while my kids run rampant? Can you feel my angry gaze boring into your skull? GET UP! You’re done. Throw your garbage away and give me your seat. NOW!

4. People who bring little kids or babies to PG-13 or R-Rated movies. Look, I appreciate that it’s hard to get a sitter, I really do. But there’s a little thing called Netflix, so stay at home and enjoy your movie in the comfort of your own home. Don’t bring your toddler to “Captain America” or “Star Wars: Revenge of the Sith.” I don’t want to hear your baby cry through “Mission Impossible: Ghost Protocol.” And for God’s sake, if you bring your baby to “Breaking Dawn Part II” I will sick a vampire on you.

5. Kids at the pool/playground/anywhere that aren’t mine that say, “Watch what I can do!” Guess what, kid: I’m not you’re mom. And I couldn’t give a rat’s behind what you can do. Your mom is over there talking to her friend about “Real Housewives of Beverly Hills” and ignoring you. You could stand on your head and juggle and I still wouldn’t watch you. I’m too busy ignoring my own kids and talking to my friend about “The Bachelor” so do me a favor, and scram!