My List of the Overrated

We all have our own opinions on what we think is overrated. I thought I’d share mine. Please note that these are my opinions and don’t reflect the opinions of the Patch or its local, fearless editor, Tim Lemke. I take full responsibility for this list.

1. Starbucks. The easy thing to point out here is the price, but that’s too easy and no fun. Instead, I think what makes Starbucks “coffee” overrated is mega-charged, industrial-strength liquid they say is coffee. To me, it tastes like the stuff you would scrape off the side of a fast-food restaurant’s fryer, process it, stir it with some caffeine, and add water.
2. Any movie with Johnny Depp. Be honest, is the guy really a great actor or is he just so weird that people feel obliged to say that he is talented and makes great movies? I will rest my case with Pirates of the Caribbean 1, 2, 3, and 4.
3. Superbowl Commercials. For 364 days of the year, we all complain about commercials and DVR our shows so we can skip them. Then one day of the year, everyone foams at the mouth to sit through some mediocre football just to watch commercials. And what do you get? You leave each commercial break feeling like you ate too much of the bean dip and that last buffalo wing-like object that’s fallen on the buffet table.
4. iEverything. Are Apple products good? Sure. They are great gadgets. Do they deserve the cult-like following that they get? No. Steve Jobs was treated like a messiah for making cool stuff. But when you consider how the uber-controlling Jobs failed to address or acknowledge the horrible conditions in the “factories” where many of the components that went into his devices, you should think of him as he really was—a business man, plain and simple.
5. Having kids. I congratulate those who do it. But no way is having kids “the best thing that ever happened to me." Or all those similar sayings that parents use to try and hide the fact that they are miserable, tired, sex-starved servants to a small, helpless, germ fountain. The best thing that ever happened to me? A vasectomy.
   
6. Camping. Without a doubt, camping is one of the silliest things people do. “Hey, honey, I have an idea. Let’s leave this comfortable house, bed, shower, air conditioning, and toilet paper behind while we go sleep on the ground in the woods.” Camping erases several thousand years of human development and progress. It’s voluntary homelessness.
7. Dave Matthews Band. I think I’ve heard one DMB song in my life. Then again, all their songs sound the same. DMB concerts are just an excuse for fans to not shower and to score weed.
8. Reality TV. There’s a whole generation of your kids growing up on Housewives of the Jersey Shore, Swamp Truckers, Dance Toddlers, and innumerable shows about trying to find a suitable spouse. While those groups are raging on about content of music lyrics and video games, these “reality” shows are demonstrating the worse behavior people can exhibit.
9. Twitter. Don’t get it. I tried. I failed to grasp the real usefulness of it. And it often forces people to use that crap txt-speech that I can't unde...
10. Ashton Kutcher. Charlie Sheen killed Two and a Half Men, but Kutcher dug it up and shoved it into a wood chipper. He is what ruined the show, not Sheen. I should have never even tried to watch the new season—just like I should have never seen the Hangover 2. Kutcher almost taints my vast love of the original. To me, he’s still that annoying kid from That 70s Show.