Prank Responsibly

‘Tis the season to be ornery.  With only a few weeks left for seniors, it is inevitable that the general malaise of senioritis will bloom into one final epidemic of frivolity and/or mutiny via the time-honored tradition of the senior prank.  While some adults frown on such behavior, I must confess myself partial to such shenanigans and tomfoolery…so long as it is whimsically well executed. My appreciation is both philosophical and deeply personal. Let us consider the time honored question: What came first? The chicken or the prank?

Let’s be prank. If we’re friends, good friends, chances are it’s only a matter of time before I pull a fast one on you.  If I love you, I will prank you. It can be simple and spur of the moment, (like sending an email/Facebook message/tweet in your name if you are naïve enough to leave me unattended in the vicinity of any open account) or elaborate (like piping Miley Cyrus into your classroom over the intercom because you pride yourself on being a hipster who has never heard “Party in the USA”).  The greater my love, the more likely the prank will involve a chicken…because, c’mon. Chickens are funny.

If you require evidence of the illuminating power of pranks (beyond personal anecdote) may I offer the time honored collegiate tradition of pranks at prestigious institutions like MIT, Cal Tech, Harvard, or even (my alma mater) Carleton College. Whether it’s fields of plastic flamingos, R2D2 replicas, or fictional tigers on a walk through South River hallways, whimsical hacks are something to be prankful for.  They are a collaborative display of ingenuity and innovation of which we should hope ALL our graduates are capable.   

The BEST pranks are a declaration of power and restraint.  They remind the pranked of their vulnerabilities.  They say:

 “I can get into this building/on top of this water tower/ into your office/ on to your Facebook feed.” 

But...

“But because of my regard/love/affection for you, I’m just leaving you a roomful of popcorn/balloons/baby bunnies.”

This paradoxical pairing of vulnerability and veneration is the power of the artfully crafted prank. You don’t spend hours planning and executing the transformation of a building into droid or buying a chicken from a confused Minnesota farmer unless you love the people who will clean up after you. 

Prank you. You’re welcome.

This is not to say pranks don’t often go awry.

Let’s talk about some things to avoid…some Hoax Pas:

1. Spray paint, bleach, eggs, toilet paper. 
2. Destruction of school athletic fields with your truck or any of the above mentioned implements. That’s called vandalism. Coaches don’t think you’re funny and they will end you.
3. Making the halls smell like eggs, poo, or rotting anything. Regardless of how this is accomplished, your classmates will not thank you for it, and they’ll talk behind your back about how LAME you are.
4. Harming small or large animals, totally uncool. Just as coaches don’t have a sense of humor when you fool with their fields, PETA doesn’t have sense of humor when you fool with their birds of a feather.  Respect the Chicken.
5. Keep it in the county/country. Pranking in a foreign country or across state lines…ill advised. You never know how many unfamiliar laws you may be violating.  The US Embassy ALSO doesn’t think you’re funny. Welcome to the no fly list.
6. #NoSmackTalking.  You might think this goes without saying, but these millennials let NOTHING go without saying.  No bragging on Facebook, Twitter, Tumblr, Instagram, etc. The prank is BIGGER than you and will live LONGER than you if you can avoid the hubris of declaring yourself…at least until you walk across that stage. #zipit, #silenceofthechickens, #prankersanonymous

The bottom line: if pranks are original, funny, and easily reversible, you will get away with it. You can take it to the Prank.

Pranks, in their purity, are not about revenge. They are about irreverence and revelry. The people who know us best, those who we trust, are in the ideal position to make us look the fool…and yet, they rarely do. So when they occasionally call us on our limitations, our vulnerabilities, and then remind us they love us despite our frailties and failings, that’s friendship. Good pranks make good neighbors.

Prank responsibly, my friends.