Happy Birthday, Army! Here Are Five Gift Ideas

At age 236, the U.S. Army probably doesn't want much of a fuss made about its birthday. But a grateful nation still wants to celebrate its longevity and contributions. 

Here are five possible gift ideas for the Army that we could get behind. 

Easy Access to the Fort – If you’re in the Army and stationed at Fort Meade, you might not bee too thrilled with the addition of all these new BRAC workers clogging the roadways and grabbing the treadmills at the gym. Who are these people and why are they taking over your installation? Here’s to hoping that people listen when you play the “hey, we were here first” card.

A New Golf Course -  It may be a few years down the road, but last week that Fort Meade is close to finalizing a deal that would allow for the development of a new golf course on base to serve military members and their families. The current golf course is being slowly eaten up by the construction of new office buildings on the installation.

Cooler Headgear – It might not have been timed to coincide with the Army’s birthday, but service members celebrated this week when they learned that the Patrol cap would become the standard headgear for soldiers wearing combat fatigues. For the previous ten years, members of the Army were required to wear black berets with their uniforms. They complaind that the berets were too hot and looked out of place. “Sanity has prevailed,” said one soldier, according to CNN.

A Win Over Navy – The Black Knights managed to wiggle their way into a bowl game this past December, but haven’t topped the Midshipment in their annual football clash since 2001. Every streak must come to an end. 

World Peace – No more terrorists to go and hunt down? No more long trips to Afghanistan or goodness knows where else? Even the most hardened soldier could get behind that. We’ll keep putting that on our birthday list until everyone on Earth gets on board.