Old Wives' Tales

It's nearly impossible to go through a pregnancy without hearing some magical way to determine characteristics of your baby including gender, weight, how much hair they will have, etc.  And while I'm not an overly superstitious person, these methods, more commonly referred to as old wives' tales, fascinate me.

Old wives' tales: A type of urban legend, rooted in the tradition of oral story-telling, which is generally passed down by old wives to a younger generation. Such tales are usually untrue or unsubstantiated and often concern the topics of pregnancy, puberty and nutrition.

For instance, apparently, you can take a pregnant woman's urine and mix it with Drano to tell the sex of the baby.  Silly me, I thought Drano's purpose was to unclog pipes; I must have missed its gender-revealing properties on the back of the bottle.  For my husband and I,  the question of gender has already been answered.  However, I was curious for any tips - outside of modern medicine and lots of prayer - that could make the next two months as comfortable as possible or give us a sneak peek about our little girl. 

A few of the more interesting old wives' tales include:  

If you're craving sweets, you're having a girl.  If you're craving salt, you're having a boy. I crave both french fries and chocolate cake equally.  Apparently, the doctors were wrong. I'm having twins! 

Wearing A Lei Can Choke Your Fetus.  We don't have any Hawaiian-themed parties planned anytime soon, nor do I think my husband is planning an island getaway in the next two months, so I think I'm safe.  Apparently, lifting your arms above your head will cause the same unfortunate outcome.  No jumping jacks or dusting for me!  

Pregnant Women Should Not Take Baths.  It could drown the baby.  If this is accurate, I must be giving birth to The Little Mermaid.  My girl loves a nice, warm bath.

If you suffer from morning sickness, reach over your husband and it will be transferred to him.  Hmmm, I think the remote will be on his nightstand from now on.

If you're having a girl, she steals your beauty.  Fortunately, God graced me with enough for the both of us.  I look fabulous everyday.  Make that most days. OK, some days with a lot of effort! 

If anyone, especially a husband, denies a pregnant woman whatever she is craving, he will get a sty in his eye.  I guess someone will be making a trip to Sonic this evening.

Cats can steal a baby's breath.  Fortunately, my husband is allergic and we're dog people.

If you suffer from heartburn, your baby will have a full head of hair. I haven't had much of an issue with heartburn, but I'm going to start eating Chipotle for lunch everyday to test this theory.  Otherwise, I guess I should return those hair bows I bought.

If a pregnant woman is near term, and she starts house cleaning, she will have the baby within a day or so.  Clearly created by a man.

While old wives' tales are used to teach, forewarn and often scare, they are also used to entertain and amuse.  While I will play it safe and won't be visiting the tropical section of Party City anytime soon and will continue my regular hair/manicure/pedicure routine so I won't look completely like the Crypt Keeper in my post-labor pictures, I realize that old wives' tales are just that:  tales.

That being said, I'm in the mood for a banana shake.  Who dares to deny me?!