World Suicide Prevention Day

According to the World Health Organization, “every year over 800,000 people die from suicide; this roughly corresponds to one death every 40 seconds.” (WHO http://www.iasp.info/wspd/)

In the year 2012, suicide was the fifth leading cause of death in the world in persons between the ages of 30 and 49 and the numbers are rapidly reaching an alarming high every year. As defined by the American Psychological Association, “suicide is the act of killing yourself, most often as a result of depression or other mental illness.” The American Psychological Association goes on to state that the rates are highest for men over the age of 69, however young teens and young adults are at risk between the ages of 15 and 24. (APA http://www.apa.org/topics/suicide/)

My family, like many others, suffered from the effects of suicide 32 years ago (dated August 2, 1982) when my Dad’s younger sister, Ann took her own life by hanging herself. My Dad, the person to find his baby sister in her bedroom, hanging over her bed, from the ceiling, was devastated. My family never thought that something like suicide would ever be an option to resolve painful life changes but what they never understood was that Aunt Ann was mentally ill and she made desperate attempts to seek the help that she needed by confiding in select family members about her sporatic bouts of sorrow. Though my family members all admit that they witnessed first hand, Aunt Ann’s emotional roller coaster, they weren’t alarmed; as they felt that the changes of young adulthood accounted for much of her sadness.

Yes, Aunt Ann was going through a bit of life’s ups and downs with her husband and she had become disillusioned with frequent workplace concerns but nothing that she had never been through before. However, this time it was different and she could not seem to shake the blues. My Dad attempted to bring as much cheer to Aunt Ann’s life as he could, but to little or no avail, he could not get her back to the mini (she was short in and petite in stature) burst of joy that she once was. The days leading up to Aunt Ann’s suicide were filled with what my Dad describes as an innate heightened sense of awareness that his sister was “up to something.” Dad recalls that he convinced Aunt Ann to visit with him, my Mom, and me (then a two year old) for a week. She obliged, although Dad recalls him being able to do little to assure himself that things would be alright with his baby sister.

As most who commit suicide or have thoughts of committing suicide, often do, Aunt Ann repeatedly mentioned her lack of interest in living and my Dad believes that she attempted suicide at least once but was unsuccessful due to him “popping up on her to check in.” After discussing the disturbing details of Aunt Ann’s suicide, Dad shared with me that on one accassion, he showed up to visit Aunt Ann and, though she emerged from the bedroom, she was visibly attempting to hide something as Dad remembers in retrospect. He never questioned what she was doing in her bedroom. In fact, Dad recalls that he ”never made it back to the bedroom” to see what Aunt Ann was passively distracting him from seeing; two days later Aunt Ann was successful in taking her own life.

The first time I heard the truth from my Dad of how Aunt Ann died, I could not help but to wonder:

• Why my family waited for me to become a young adult in College to tell me the truth about Aunt Ann’s passing
• Why no one took her threats of suicide seriously until it was too late
• Why Aunt Ann would choose to take her own life in such a violent way
• Why Aunt Ann didn’t think of her (then 5 year old) son before committing such an act

What I did not know is that all of my questions would be answered in a matter of two years.

I too began to experience feelings of sadness and isolation after an abduction and violent sexual assault. Immediately, I was thrown on the emotional roller coaster that my family watched in horror as it rode my Aunt into emotional destitute. Though I was majoring in Psychology in Undergrad at the time of the attack, I had lost all coping faculties that I had so easily aquired from my university’s curriculum. I was hurled into the belly of the beast and I had no preparation for what was to come because as far as I knew, no one in my family had any experience with feeling like they did not want to live anymore..or being in a room full of people and feeling totally alone-I was the odd ball. Before I knew it, I had become my Aunt Ann, I began experiencing what I felt to be mean behavior at my workplace and relationship issues with my mate (and father of my two year old son). What was supposed to be the twists and turns of a life that was a little chaotic in its premature inception was now a fully enthralled emotional battle. I made a genuine attempt to commit suicide and miraculously survived only to experience feelings of worthlessness and resentment for surviving my attempt.

I sought the help that I needed and subsequently began to flourish as a proud member of a community that has secretly lived among us for so long, depression battlers (not suffers).

Now that I am active in a number of Advocacy Agendas to help the public clarify many misconceptions surrounding suicide and mental illness, I can rest well at night knowing that Aunt Ann’s voice does matter and that her choice to commit suicide was not a selfish act. She was like many of us; she loved, laughed, cried, felt the pains of disappointment, but unfortunately, the numbing effects of mental illness made all of these emotions appear to be invaisive elements in her human experience.

When my Dad broke the news to me that Aunt Ann had not died from an accidental headache medicine overdose, but that she in fact hanged herself. I was floored by the details. But most importantly, what I heard in my conversation with my Dad was filtered through what would later be a dedicated academic role in Psychology and Minority/Women Studies. I now understood from listening to my Dad that I was predisposed to depression and consequently in my case, thoughts of suicide.

I have shared this story in hopes that someone will watch for the signs of depression and other mental illness and trust their gut instinct enough to speak up to suggest that the person seek professional help before its too late.

We live in a great World and if we can use our hearts and minds interchangeably to help one another we can change the world one person at a time! Please read below for signs of depression and/or suicide.

• Sadness. When feeling sad is a symptom of depression, it may include feeling hopeless and empty. You may find that no matter how hard you try, you just can’t control your negative thoughts. You may find yourself crying for no obvious reason.
• Guilt. People with severe depression may feel that they are worthless and helpless. They may even experience their depression as a sign of weakness, and can be overly self-critical.
• Irritability. This depression symptom may cause you to feel angry, anxious, or restless. Men who are seriously depressed often express their depression through aggression or reckless behavior.
• Mental symptoms. If you have trouble concentrating, making decisions, or remembering details, these could be symptoms of depression. People with depression may feel that their thought processes have slowed down.
• Physical symptoms. People with depression often have aches and pains, headaches, or digestive problems that do not seem to have any other medical cause and do not respond to treatment.
• Loss of energy. If you have depression, you may feel tired all the time. People with depression may feel that their physical abilities are slowed down.
• Loss of interest. A common depression symptom is loss of interest in pleasurable activities like sex, hobbies, or social interactions. This may also show up as neglecting your responsibilities and your physical grooming.
• Sleep changes. Waking up too early in the morning, not being able to fall asleep, or sleeping too much can all be symptoms of depression.
• Appetite changes. Changes in eating habits due to depression can result in eating too much or too little. A weight gain or loss of more than 5 percent of your body weight in one month is one of the warning signs of depression. Some people experience a loss of interest in food, while for others food becomes a way of compensating for feelings of depression.
• Suicidal thoughts. Having thoughts of harming yourself is a serious symptom of depression and always needs to be taken seriously. If you’re thinking about suicide, you need to get help immediately

Signs of Suicide and/or depression provided by (Everyday Health http://www.everydayhealth.com/depression/symptoms.aspx)

NeAnna holds a bachelor of Science from Morgan State University with a concentration in Minority/Women Affairs and she is the Author of The Book of Living Empathy and the soon to be released book titled, The Grave Soul: The Voice of Suicide