A.J. Ortman 'Touched So Many Lives'

A memorial service will be held for Alfredas Josep Ortman at the on Monday, April 4 at 6 p.m. Community members are encouraged to attend.

A.J. Ortman spent most of last Wednesday morning in classes at the Community College of Baltimore County Essex.

But shortly after 11:30 a.m.,  following a car accident.

Ortman's car had crossed the center line and collided with a minivan. Excessive speed may have contributed to the crash, said. The driver of the minivan, a 53-year-old woman, survived with non-life threatening injuries.

Ortman's mother, Karen Ortman, said her son, who she adopted 15 years ago, likely was driving back to the family's home in north Perry Hall. He received his driver's license just six months ago.

A.J. Ortman graduated from in 2010 and was taking general classes at Essex. He was considering a career as a marine mechanic. He had spent many summers working on the family's boat in the Chesapeake Bay, his mother said.

This summer, however, he planned to work as a groundskeeper at the Pine Valley swimming club in Rosedale, she added. 

Ortman's graduation last June was bittersweet for his mother and father. While they had never been prouder, their only child was one step closer to adulthood.

Karen remembered the first time she met her son—he was 4 years old, born in Lithuania. It's not uncommon to change a young child's name during an international adoption, Karen said, but she felt that his given name, Alfredas Josep, suited him. Friends and family eventually called him A.J.

"He was a gift from God and he was meant to be with us," Karen said. "We exercised patience, we had real expectations and A.J. gave us way more than we could have ever given him."

Last fall, a publication of the Diakon Lutheran Social Ministries featured the Ortman family in an article about their successful adoption experience.

A.J. was charismatic and filled with energy and enthusiasm, Karen said. He played recreational league soccer for several years before moving onto basketball. He yearned for activity and, at times, could be a thrill-seeker. During his early teenage years, he discovered skateboarding—it became his most passionately pursued diversion.

Skateboarders often have a bad reputation as either punkish or destructive, but A.J. never dressed or acted the part, Karen said. He loved skateboarding for the tricks and thrills. It was the ultimate creative outlet with seemingly endless possibilities. His body, however, could not always execute his imagination; he broke his arm once and his leg twice, Karen said. 

While he attended Christian skateboarding camps during summers, he often skateboarded alone near his home on Cliffvale Road or along Belair Road.

A.J. was a social boy who greeted his friends and parents with hugs nearly every time he saw them. But as an early teen, he began looking for something more to embrace, said Millie Myszkiewicz, a youth ministry leader in the .

He had never shown much interest in his parents' church, the on Belair Road. But the Perry Hall Baptist Church, just a stone's throw away from the family's home, offered a large parking lot for skateboarding.

Myszkiewicz said she first noticed A.J. doing tricks outside the church during  weekly youth group meetings. She invited him to join in. He declined. Weeks and several invitations later, he accepted.

It was the beginning of a social and spiritual awakening for A.J., Myszkiewicz said. He was a popular addition. He listened to, loved and supported the other teens. Myszkiewicz said she envisioned him as a sort of skateboarding missionary and hoped he would continue working with teens as an adult. 

At first, she worried that A.J.'s parents may not be supportive of the time he spent at the Baptist church. But that was before she met Karen, who said she was grateful for the joy and friendship the youth group had brought into her son's life. With his parents' permission, he became a baptized member of the church.

When he turned 19, he aged out of the youth group. It was a difficult transition, Myszkiewicz said. He would often still walk in at the beginning of activities, hug his friends and then leave to go skateboarding.

On Wednesday evening, March 30, members of the youngest section of the youth group gathered at the church for their weekly activity.

Myszkiewicz found out about A.J.'s death earlier in the afternoon. She said she wasn't sure how many of the youngest members even knew A.J. since he had graduated.

"I didn't know he had touched so many lives," she said.

"They were lined up in the hallway, hugging each other and just crying," Myszkiewicz said. "It was so heart-wrenching to see them crying because they loved him so much."

Karen said that her son's greatest accomplishment was his ability to make people smile.

"His smile would light up a room," she said. "He wore his heart on his sleeve. He was very open and kind, and if he could help people, that's what he would do."