MOMS & DADS TALK: When Should Your Child Get a Cell Phone?

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When should your child get a cell phone?

Members of our Moms & Dads Council weighed in:

Linker Mills answered:

My usual response to my 8-year-old about a cell phone is that he can have a cell phone when he has the job to pay for one. Some children his age already have one, for reasons I cannot truly fathom. I cannot see a need for a child to get a cell phone until they are involved in some sort of activity, such as after-school sports, where they would need to call home for a ride. So my rough guess at an age would be around 13 or 14, with a phone with some pretty tough restrictions on calling and/or texting time.

Roni Noone answered:

Considering that my oldest is 5, I can't even imagine him with a cell phone. That being said, once he's old enough to be doing activities without me, I think that equipping him with a phone for emergencies and checking in would be a good idea. I just don't quite know when that will be yet!

Stacey Schantz answered:

Since my 4-year-old is already starting to ask when he can have a cell phone, I hope I'm able to hold out long enough to enforce this. But I think my children will need to be at least 13. At that age, they have the ability to understand the responsibility associated with using a cell phone.

Daya Chaney Webb answered:

I think a child should get a cell phone when they have demonstrated an understanding of responsible use of resources, and taking good care of his/her property (computer, electronic games, toys). For me and my two boys, I don't think it would be any younger than 13.  But that's not to say some kids couldn't be responsible at an earlier age.

Tom Irwin answered:

I don't know what age a child should be allowed to have a cell phone but I would allow mine to have one around 12. Considering SMS seems to be the most common form of communication right now in that peer group I would not want my kid(s) to be on the outside.

Nancy Jackson answered:

When my youngest daughter was playing on an 11-12 lacrosse team that I was coaching, she and one other player didn't have a cell phone. At water breaks, the girls would sit in the grass, comparing cell phones—this was about eight years ago so cell phones were pretty rudimentary. My daughter and the other player who didn't have one often sat a little apart. Because they were similar players—both a shy but intense about sports—I didn't think much of it. But later I wondered how much of their bond had to do with the fact that they were the only two without a cell phone.

I didn't realize how vital cell phones were to communication among preteens—they were more than just a status symbol, which is what I thought at the time. I'm not normally one to say that a child should have everything their friends have, but in that case, I think I was wrong.

I went through a similar transition with text messaging—I didn't see why I should pay for it until my older daughter, who was playing college lacrosse, nearly missed a practice because the coach had texted, not called, all the players about a time change. Again, it had become the way in which people communicate and I didn't quite get that.

So once a child is really ready to communicate with friends, it's probably time for a phone. That said, the recent research that cell phones affect brain activity really scares me. Maybe texting is an improvement—at least the phone isn't next to their heads.

One caveat for parents, though, is to insist on the right to scroll through messages and call lists. In my day, your parents knew when someone called you because chances are they answered the one dial phone in the house. If a boy called, you were quizzed on just who he was. It has occurred to me that you have no idea who is calling or texting your children these days, or what kind of photos they're sending and receiving. Frankly, I'm glad that technology didn't emerge until my kids were older.