The Trumpet

Man, I wish I could play the trumpet. The trumpet is one cool instrument. But it second fiddle to the Saxophone. The sax gets all the love. There must be something about that big curve and wide mouth. Kenny G, Grover Washington, Jr., Najee and even President Clinton all gets down with the saxophone. My guess is, because it’s just so . . . saxy.

But the trumpet is a noble instrument. King and Queens are announced by its call. Even our military boys go to bed and wake up to the sound of the trumpet. And the ‘good book’ says that on ‘Judgment Day’ Archangel Gabriel will sound the trumpet. Hear that? It says the trumpet, not the French horn and not the slide trombone.

But it’s hard to be sexy when playing the trumpet. You make all those funny faces trying to hit the right notes. You remember Dizzy Gillespie with his bloated cheeks? How about Miles Davis with that large vein popping out in his head? Oh, and don’t forget Doc Severenson with his eyes fused shut. Those guys made great sounds, but they didn’t exactly make you want to run out and buy a trumpet.

Bad posture doesn’t help the situation either. Ever notice how trumpeters are always bent over looking at their shoe tops or bent over backwards straining to bring up that last note? Too many back problems for some. Making it difficult to get health coverage.

But no band is a real band without the trumpet. Just ask Tower of Power (‘What is Hip’) or Chicago (‘Saturday in the Park’) or Earth, Wind & Fire (‘Get Away’). They’ll tell you, it can’t be done. Except by using a synthesizer. What a waste.