Beshert Means This Was Meant To Be

My husband and I sometimes kid around about the boyfriends and girlfriends we each had before we met each other. I tell him all the time for fifty-three years that he was so lucky I chose him. I had quite a few boyfriends through the years and I made a list of what they were all about and their first names.

I started out in first grade; I believe and I liked a boy named Eugene. He was one week older than me, both of us having June birthdays. We were in the same first, second and probably third grade classes. Once, he called me up on the phone to chat and then I knew he was ‘my boyfriend.’ Once, I went to his house and his mom was very nice to me. His house was on the way home from school and so I spent the afternoon there after school was over for the day, which then was about 3 P.M. Mom walked up from our home to walk home with me. Once he came to our house and his mom did the same. He had a big brother and I had a big brother, both around five years older than each of us. He liked to read and so did I and so sometimes, I would see him in the Pratt Library, where all of us kids went to get books to read and to help with our homework. When I went into the fourth grade, I no longer was interested in him and probably he was not with me.

Then there was Bernard, Bernie for short. He had a quick and charming smile and all the girls about age twelve thought him quite handsome. He liked me and he use to come over some summer nights and sit with me on our outside glider/swing until it got dark about nine P.M. and then he would go home. When he got home, he would call me to say goodnight. When I went to junior high school at age twelve after the summer was over, he went to a different one than me and I never really saw him again.

Then in junior high, there was no one and when I got to high school, I had Will and Harvey. Will took me to his senior inaugural dance and called me often and he went to the co-ed high school that I went to and so we saw each other a lot. I do not think it was a real romance, just a friend type thing. For my senior prom, I asked Harvey and we had fun and then he went into the service and he wrote me several times a week and when he was finished, we saw each other once.

Then I started to work and that is when it seems, there were more young men. I remember George who I met through work and he was from New York City and after going out  on and off for several months whenever he came to town for business; I figured out that he had a wife back there and I called one day to speak with him. She answered and I said I was calling from the place I worked where he got his printing done. She said she would give him a message and I said what is your name? She said, I am his wife, I forget her name and that was it. He did call me when he came to town the following week and I asked him how he was and how was his wife. He was stunned and that was the end of that relationship.

 Then there was David who owned a wholesale jewelry business with his brother and he also taught ballroom dancing on the weekends. He gave me the ‘friend’s’ rate of ten dollars an hour and he gave me a few lessons and we went dancing. I look back and realize he knew only about one hour’s difference in knowledge about dancing than me at that time,

Then I thought, he knew a lot.

Then there was a guy named a girl’s name and he really adored me. Once, I said I was busy and then I must have gone up to the drug store to buy my baby niece a gift for when I would visit her. He had been sitting in his car across the street from my home, because he did not believe me when I said I was busy. He saw me walk out and up about three blocks (no car then) and called me when I got home that I lied to him. I said I did not lie; I had to go and purchase something for her. We got into a quarrel and that was the end of that. I could not see me ever marrying him since he had a girl’s name. I guess if I cared about him, it would not have mattered. Years later, I found out he married and had adopted two children. I guess she did not care about his name.

Then there was another guy and he was a photographer and I went with him to do his work several times and I really had fun with him. He introduced me to his mom, took me to his house and she was wheelchair bound and she was a sweet lady. He took me to an auto race event and it was scary as the cars came around the curves at a fast pace and I was frightened a lot. He took me to a mental hospital where he did volunteer work to show me around and I was again scared to death. So I decided, there were too many unnerving things going on. Funny thing, he was a photographer and when I married, my photographer brought him along to help him with the many photos and 3 D slides I had ordered. When I saw him, I almost had a fit. It was almost funny, him being one of the hired photographers at my wedding. I did not know that the one I hired would bring him. We laughed about it, but I was secretly a bit burned up to see him at my wedding. I got over it and he did with the main guy I employed, take lovely photos.

Then a dear friend introduced me to her husband’s employer’s son. He was a handsome fellow, nice and easy to talk to. He took me out many times, but told me he really liked me, but he was looking for a rich girl and he could see I was not and so that was the end of that. He did marry a rich girl, quite homely and they are now divorced.

Then there was another handsome one, Larry. but he was not intelligent enough for me. He was quite a good looking male and he had many girls running after him. He married someone I knew well and it was their sister-in-law. She was very plain, sweet and they seemed to have a dear marriage.

Then on a blind date, I met Mr. Wonderful. Actually before I met him, I went out with a guy Michael whose brother did write a play which was called Mr. Wonderful and it was on Broadway in NYC for about a year. So Mr. Wonderful and I met on the date and we are married now for fifty-three years and we went together two years and two months, before we got engaged and married seven months later.

This all proves that I did have several guys or a lot through the years. Some handsome, some not, some smart, some not, some married, most not, all with manly names but one.

There are two sayings that kind of apply to this story. “Nothing is predestined: the obstacles of your past can become the gateways that lead to a new beginning.” Ralph Blum wrote this.

Another one is “create a definite plan for carrying out your desires and begin at once, whether you are ready or not.”

 Now people dating can go online and choose each other from photos and information they supply to the site. I know of several young women who met their spouses this way. It is an interesting manner to meet eligible people. One I know said that he chose her and he did not think she would want him when they met through the service. He said he thought she was too beautiful for him. Evidently, he was wrong, because they make a cute and happy couple.

The final saying is this “Don’t waste a minute not being happy. If one window closes, run to the next window or break down a door.”

 This from the actress Brooke Shields.

So ignore the names you do not like, he can be a great guy, don’t close the window, go on blind dates if you think it will be good, go online to these dating services, check them out and you could just find Mr. Wonderful as I did from getting together for that blind date, no dating services in those days. Someone would recommend one person to the other. If you use the dating services, it will not be a blind date, like in my time, you will be able to see the photo they posted and they can see you and that makes it so much easier. Respond now to this final one “When life gives you one hundred reasons to cry, show life you have a thousand reasons to smile.”Funny thing, when Mr. Wonderful was given my name by a guy I went out with for about ninety minutes because I did not like him; he told Mr. W. that I looked like I would be ‘easy.’ This because I had a blonde streak in my dark hair. Boy was Mr. W. surprised when this did not occur.