The Menace Of Bullying: What Andover Parents Are Saying

Andover , MA — An informal survey of Patch readers in New England shows great concern among parents about the extent and severity of bullying their children experience in school and online. Almost nine in 10 parents said their child had been bullied at least once, and nearly half said the bullying had occurred frequently.

In Andover, 10 parents responded to the anonymous survey, with just two respondents saying their children had never been bullied. One parent said their child developed PTSD due to bullying.

Andover has a lengthy policy on bullying, but survey respondents had mixed reactions on its effectiveness. "Inadequate," one parent whose child is bullied frequently said.

"No use," said another. "Just a warning from school to bullying students didnt change bullying kids behavior. It continues after a few days."

But other parents had more positive experiences. One wrote, "It seems effective for our family." Another said the policy "follows the law."

Parents left little doubt as to the consequences of unchecked bullying, saying bullying causes anxiety and dislike of school.

"Kids are worried to be called out, and so they take fewer risks with making new friends, trying new sports or activities, even speaking up in class. Being seen as 'different' is not celebrated, but something to be feared," said one parent.

Another parent said that their son's friends were bullied, and that their son was not allowed to sit with girls at lunch because the girls would be opened up to bullying.

"My son was protected, but his friends are not," the parent said.

While most parents said they were aware that Andover has adopted policies intended to curb or stop bullying, many believe that bullying is very difficult to address.

"It is hard to enforce a bullying policy when so much if it is done on the sly. Also, blatant ignoring, not including in group work, walking by classmates in the hall and having them ignore you — those things are hard to see and therefore unenforceable," said one parent.

Another parent said that punishment of bullies is not enough: "There is not enough done to prevent bullying. A strong reactive policy does not prevent the bullying. The social emotional curriculum as a whole is lacking."

Parents urged the schools to involve parents more in addressing bullying.

"Mandatory parent meetings, real consequences. Train the principals on how to nip it in the bud," one said.

"Include it in parents memos," asked another.

Patch has undertaken extensive coverage of the bullying issue in The Menace of Bullying: A Patch Advocacy Reporting Project.

The regional parent survey, timed to coincide with National Bullying Prevention Month in October, was posted on more than 100 Patch sites in Massachusetts, New Hampshire and Rhode Island. The survey is not scientific, but could be considered a broad indicator of parents' feelings about the seriousness of bullying in their schools and communities.

Take the Patch bullying survey

As of Tuesday, Oct. 15, over 500 parents across the region has responded to the Patch survey. The key findings were:

• Nearly 90 percent of parents said their children had been bullied at least once, and nearly half — 47.9 percent — said bullying had been frequent. Only 10.8 percent said their children had never been bullied.
• Bullying took many forms, from teasing and name-calling to exclusion from groups to physical harm such as punching or kicking. Nearly a third of respondents said their children had experienced some sort of physical harm.
• Bullying took many forms, from teasing and name-calling to exclusion from groups to physical harm such as punching or kicking. Nearly a third of respondents said their children had experienced some sort of physical harm.

These informal findings should be compared to statistics compiled in more scientific surveys, which note that:

• Bullying affects 1 in 3 U.S. schoolchildren (NoBully.org)
• 59 percent of U.S. students experience cyberbullying (Pew Research Center)
• 160,000 kids stay home from school every day to avoid bullies, National Association of School Psychologists

To comment on this story, email bullies@patch.com. And to learn more about bullying prevention, visit Patch partner NoBully.org.

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