The Art of Letting Go: Part Two

There are things that we never want to let go of, people we never want to leave behind.  But keep in mind that letting go isn't the end of the world; it's the beginning of new life."  -Author Unknown

Much of my journey has been about trying to have another child and complete the family I had envisioned.  For quite some time, I struggled to make sense of it all and sought the help of various practitioners, medical and holistic, in order to figure out why this would be such a challenge with all my knowledge and efforts to nourish my body and spirit.

I have learned that sometimes there is no answer to the question, why.  I have had to let go of what could have been and what should have been in order to accept the reality of what is.  It has been a process.  Meanwhile, I am blessed to have one amazing daughter here on this Earth, while her siblings are journeying with the angels. 

As it now seems, I was meant to nurture more than just my own children. One of my current activities involves mentoring a group of young women who have had a difficult start in life...and the depth, beauty and wisdom they possess is awe-inspiring.  I get to be a voice of hope for them, but they give to me just as much as I give to them.  It is truly an honor to be a part of their journey. 

I used to believe that letting go meant giving up.  I now realize that the process of letting go opens us up to new ways of thinking and living.  When we choose to loosen our grip on how life is supposed to be, we are able to see the unlimited possibilities that we have yet to consider. 

Without realizing it, we often attach a certain feeling to a particular event, food, place, person or way of doing things in order to recreate the most comforting feelings we have experienced in the past.  It is not necessarily mom's meatloaf that we crave; it is the feeling of warmth and security that we wish to experience again.  It's not the old relationship that is missed so deeply; rather, it is the ability to feel and express love with someone you once shared a deep connection with.  But attempting to hold on to the way things used to be can impede our focus on the beauty that is available to us in the present moment. 

Pain seems to be the language of growth, signaling our attention to the things that truly matter.  It allows us to stretch beyond our everyday comforts and uncover something new about ourselves--a hidden gift, a new strength.  I know it's hard to imagine it at the time, but our painful experiences can be the source of our deepest gifts.

It is important to realize that letting go is a process that takes time, effort, guidance and growth.  It begins with acknowledging that you are hurting.  It means practicing self-compassion. You can't expect the hurt to just  vanish without appropriate healing and growth.  You have to be gentle with yourself.  Speak to yourself the way you would speak to a dear friend. 

Letting go also involves asking for and accepting help.  The burden of pain is so much greater when you try to carry it alone.  You have to seek connection rather than isolation.  We all need a safe, non-judgmental place to share our heart openly and honestly in order for true healing to begin.   

When we allow ourselves to move beyond the hurt of a past relationship, we begin to create the space for a new love to show up.  When we let go of the job that leaves us drained and frustrated each day, we can welcome more appealing career opportunities.  When we let go of the hope to be recognized for what we do, we allow ourselves to be just as we are--nothing more, nothing less. 

Letting go doesn't mean giving up.  It means doing what you can, but recognizing when things are beyond your control.  It means looking for other options or to someone who can provide greater clarity and direction.  It means being okay with not knowing what will happen next, but trusting that everything will be okay or turn out better than you could have imagined.