OP-ED: Children, The Silent Victims Of Domestic Abuse

Note: The following is an op-ed from Essex County District Attorney Jonathan Blodgett.

Since 1987, our nation has observed October as Domestic Violence Awareness month. During this month, we remember those victims who died as a result of domestic violence, and those who survived.  We also honor the work of those individuals who help victims to live safely and those who hold batterers accountable for their actions. In Essex County, I would like to recognize the local efforts that have been made to reduce the incidence of violence, that raise awareness of the issue and those that help victims and their children to live safely within their communities.

In four court jurisdictions throughout Essex County, representatives from police departments, domestic violence agencies, probation, batterers intervention programs, legal service agencies and other organizations meet with domestic violence experts from my office every month to share information on domestic violence cases that, based on well-established criteria,  are deemed to be “high risk.”  In addition, these same professionals along with school departments, health and mental health personnel, clergy and other concerned citizens participate in seven roundtables to promote greater awareness of domestic violence and to enhance collaboration within our communities. These efforts have proven to be invaluable in helping people to recognize abuse and know where to go for help.

And yet, this is not enough.

National studies continue to show that one in four women will experience domestic violence during their lifetime. These studies also show that men who batter their wives are also likely to assault their children, and that children who are exposed to domestic violence are likely to suffer consequences as a result of this abuse. In their own homes where they should be safest, these children are often placed in great danger.

In 2010, domestic violence victims sought 4753 domestic violence restraining orders in Essex County. This number increased by 941 from the previous year. How many more abused women decided not to seek an order for themselves and their children because their risk of harm was too great?  Did this number rise due to an increase in awareness or an increase in violence? We may never know the real answers to these questions.

Over the past three years, we have seen extreme cases of domestic violence locally that involved children. In Lawrence, a woman and her two children were killed; in Lynnfield, a young girl watched as her mother and aunt were gunned down; and in Salem, two young children found their pregnant mother murdered.

In the aftermath of such horrific cases, we all review and reassess the safety measures that were and were not taken and what was known about the history of violence between the partners.  We look at the risk factors that existed and wonder what more we can do because we know that past behavior is the best predictor of future behavior.

Children often help to maintain the secrecy of the abuse and may be threatened not to tell. Some children believe that living with violence is a normal way of life. Children who live with violence may become violent or become victims of violence as adults. Children need to know that violence and abuse in the home is never okay. Children should be taught how to stay safe when violence erupts and they need to know where to go and who to call to get help. A child’s awareness of these simple steps may save a life.

If you or someone you know needs help with safety planning, please contact my office to obtain our safety plan brochures: How do I Stay Safe and How to Keep Your Child Safe When There is Violence at Home. For additional assistance, please contact the state domestic violence hotline - Massachusetts SAFELINK at (877) 785-2020.