My Kids and Church

When I attended mass as a child I had no choice but to behave. My mother said stand still, pay attention and no talking, and that’s just what I did.  I feared mom and dad.  Plus, there was the whole “God is watching you thing” as we were in his “house”.  I adore my children, quirks and all.  I just don’t understand why when we enter church, all sense of normalcy leaves them.  They aren’t ripping gospel books and hurling them at the backs of peoples’ heads, but they don’t show the same decorum that my husband and I had when we were younger.

 We usually sit besides my parents in the same pew (Back up is always crucial incase things get out of hand).  This does not change my children’s thoughts though.  They begin talking and wondering why the boy two rows ahead of them has coloring books and crayons at his disposal. (When did that start happening by the way? There were no distractions when I was younger, no crayons for this girl anyway).   My son is constantly trying to sneak items into mass.  Pokemon cards, Beyblades, erasers, Legos, etc.  There are days where my husband and I feel like security guards next to metal detectors.  Before we leave the front door we ask him to please empty his pockets and place the contents in a bowl.  We usually can tell when there’s more hidden inside his sock or up his sleeve.  He doesn’t have a very good poker face.  My daughter on the other hand is clever.  She will ask for a particular purse to match her dress and of course my husband and I approve of this request.  What we failed to notice are the crayons, “Squinkys”, and rocks (she collected on her bike ride the day before) placed carefully inside the pocketbook.  She presents these items to us in the middle of mass.  Although my husband and I try to not address her and keep looking forward, my son has become aware of her toys and he’s not happy.

“Why did she bring all these things to church?  You said we couldn’t bring anything to mass!”

We try to hush him by giving “the look” that parents give in Temple, mass or other religious places…but to no avail his voice rises. Elderly folks who usually can’t hear a thing (even with their hearing aids on) have turned around to notice what the commotion is behind them. I try to institute fear into the kids.  I explain Father John is watching us and he has a hotline straight up to God if they don’t behave.  This lasts for minutes until my daughter starts up again with the talking.

“I’m hungry.  When can we eat?”

Communion is about to commence we explain in hopes of keeping her silent.  She smiles and turns to me and states:

“Great, Father John makes the best communion in town!”

This was hysterical to my husband and me.  We laughed and shared this with my parents as well.  Our entire pew was trying it’s hardest to hold it in and not give in to the giggles. I think I even heard God chuckle.  As much as I want the children to be perfect little angels (especially in church) it’s not always going to happen.  I have learned to just let it go as my children are who they are.  In the last few months, they have changed their ways and several parishioners have mentioned how well behaved they are.  I appreciate this as they’ve come a long way.  My son is even an altar boy this year and is thrilled to participate in the mass itself.  I have to remember that children are children, whether they are at mass or temple or where ever your sanctuary is for religious beliefs.  Kids will do as they please. We need to let them be. Besides, I think God has a sense of humor and finds children funny too.