Sabotage

What harm can one innocent cookie do?  This is the question I pose to my weak-willed self every day.  I am not going to lie to you reader.  I have a sweet tooth.  I love chocolate chip cookies, chocolate based ice cream, M&M’s, Nestle Crunch bars, and pancakes loaded with chocolate chip morsels.  These symptoms give fair indication that I have a problem.  Hello, my name is Mirna Zelic and I am a chocoholic.  What an unjust affliction.  I try to do my best to stay away from cocoa based delights.

During every Lent season I give up eating chocolate.  It’s never easy to abstain because chocolate consumption is such an every day occurrence in my life.  When the 40 days are over, I feel great because I no longer suffer from chocolate withdrawal.  But then I tell myself now that Lent is through, I can have one piece of chocolate.  Just one Hershey’s Kiss, it won’t be a problem…and I find myself lying on the couch the next day with a monster headache and overgrown belly, wishing I had put down that chocolaty bunny the kids got for Easter. 

Every once in a while I catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror.  Usually I am too busy and or avoid mirrors all together (especially dept store ones where I look like a member of the Cullen family from the Twilight Series).  Not too long ago the reflection staring back was of someone getting older and in need of shaping up.  While accepting that my metabolism wasn’t that of a young teen anymore, I realized that conscientious exercise and eating right could help whip me back into some sort of shape. 

I then signed up for classes at the YMCA and have since loved them.  My pants and shorts fit so much better than before.  I was making tuna fish sandwiches for lunch and eating smaller portions at dinner time.  I was on the straight and narrow path to better health and smaller pants sizes, and I became excited and cocky…yes cocky!  I saw small, but tangible results from my efforts, but instead of pushing myself further I’d find myself opening the cookie tin after returning home from the gym and “rewarding” myself with a chocolate chip cookie.  For all of my hard work, sweat and exhaustion burning calories, I thought it was a smart idea to put a cookie in my mouth as a treat.  SABOTAGE!  I don’t know why I do this to myself.  Eating right and going to the gym are better for me and my health and yet I disrupt my efforts with a chocolate chip cookie!

 Sometimes I watch the show “Biggest Loser” and I see their life on the ranch as very difficult.  During that time they get served special diet conscious meals but once they get booted off they need to be prepared to avoid the pitfalls of going back to their old eating habits.  I want to write to the participants (at least those that kept the weight off six months later) and ask how they avoided the junk food trap.  What’s the secret!? 

I started realizing that when I’m at the grocery store, I pick treats for the kids based on what I like.  Coincidence?  I think not!  I’ve been selecting chocolaty items that I might like in the belief that the kids would enjoy it.  I need to leave off these cocoa based items from my grocery list but what do I do to curb my chocolate problem?  I know I’m not alone.  My sister has a similar problem, except her vice is cheese.  As for my husband, he cannot go without bread.  There isn’t a meal enjoyed every night without a rye, pita, or pumpernickel to scoop up that last morsel on his plate.  We all have our vices in this food world and unfortunately, mine is preventing me from losing those additional 10 pounds I need to take off.   

So if anyone knows of a program that can wean me off of chocolate and stop me from sabotaging myself so I can stay fit, please let me know. My love handles thank you.