How to Mama (and Papa) Mindfully!

Breathe, Your're a Great Mom (or Dad)

Adoring blue eyes, hidden behind a mop of blonde hair, gaze up at my face. “Mama,” my almost 4 year old says as he clings to my legs, “you are a great mom.”

I soak in this glorious mama moment and then ask, “Really? Why am I a great mom?”

Bodhi looks at me askew, as it should be so obvious. “Because you are warm, soft, and squishy… And you are good at playing mouse nest.”

Translation: I qualify as great because I maintain a body temperature close to 98.6, I have the right female body parts that he likes to snuggle next to, and I am willing and able to lie on the floor/bed/couch under a pile of blankets and pretend that I am a mouse.

I laugh and thank him.

And then I start thinking about what my criteria is for being a great mama (or for that matter great papa). I aspire to be a mindful mama – one that is a conscious, creative, playful, and balanced human being, doing my best to raise happy, healthy child.

As you can guess, that’s not always easy.

My criteria for being a great (or I’d even settle for good) mindful mama are quite a bit more extensive than Bo’s. After a little contemplation, I realized that I expect myself to: 

• Be in tune with my own emotions and reactions and how they affect Bodhi
• Take care of myself in order to be able to take care of him
• Spend quality time with him, being present, supportive, and open
• Support him in effectively expressing his needs and emotions
• Help him to work our solutions to his challenges, taking into consideration family and friends’ wants and needs
• Educate him on the ways of the world
• Nurture loving kindness and creativity
• Keep our house peaceful yet stimulating and in some semblance of order
• Have a conscious, loving relationship with his dad/my husband

Yeeasch!  

The list could go on…

While I believe that clearly knowing what I am shooting for can help me more consciously create it, I also see how my long-list of characteristics is also setting me up for some judgment of not being able to fulfill all these wonderful aspirations.

So I use my two trusty tenets that never fail to guide me back into my heart and into the now:

1.    Connect to my heart’s desire.

Deep in my heart, I desire to be loving with myself and my child.

2.    Be present in the moment. Breathe.

Right now, Bodhi is happy and smiling. I am content and breathing. (a deep breathe)

These I can do.

As mothers (and fathers) navigating the path of raising a child, caring for ourselves, maintaining a home, perhaps a romantic relationship and a career too, we have a lot on our plates.

Any time we can give ourselves a break, and even a pat on the back, for all we juggle, aspire to, and want for ourselves and our families, the more we create an attitude of loving kindness within ourselves – which our children can immediately sense and feel.

Each one of us is the one who gets to decide what the criteria is for being a good mama or papa and if we will give ourselves a dose of loving kindness when we don’t cover all our criteria in one afternoon.

So the next time I feel that I fall short of being a good mama, I will remember that in Bodhi’s eyes I’m great as long as I’m well, alive and breathing. And so are you.

When not playing mouse nest, Meghan Gilroy loves to write about mindful parenting, conscious relationships, and skills for creating a peaceful, passionate and purposeful life. She is a transformative life coach, spiritual teacher, TV Show host and mindful mama to Bodhi (4) and Nick (20). Email her with your mindful parenting tips and questions at meghan@meghangilroy.com or visit her website for more personal growth audios, videos, and tools.