Tapping Into Your Heart's Desire

Like so many of us, I want to be the best parent I can be. One of the ways I do so is through being mindful of how I am parenting my son Bodhi. When I am aware of what I am thinking and feeling within myself, as well as what I am saying and doing while interacting with him, then I have the choice to create loving interactions. Being conscious also gives me the power to modify when I fall short of my intent. And like all parents, there are certainly days when I do!

Ironically, I begin being mindful by setting aside my mind and tapping into my heart. Through my spiritual practice, I have connected to what my heart desires. Our hearts don’t speak the language of words (that’s the mind’s job); they speak the language of emotion. So our heart’s desire is the prevalent emotional quality that we want present in our lives. For me, the feeling I enjoy most is a sensation of peaceful centeredness. A sense of balance and connectedness. Playfulness and contented joy.

I know from experience that I can only share this emotional energy with my world when I am able to create this feeling for myself. I can’t give what I don’t have. Of course I don’t live in this state all the time. I can be challenged by what my mind believes instead of what my heart feels. I have a long to do list that pulls my time and attention in multiple directions. And I have an active toddler who loves to stick his foot in our dog’s water dish as we are walking out the door.

Yet when I remember to make time to take care of myself so I feel balanced, then I can more fluidly create that balance around me. When I remember that my heart desires peace during a busy day, I can sink back into the moment. When I recall that I want to share my love of feeling connected with Bodhi even when he is throwing a tantrum, then I can draw on my creativity to find a solution that brings us both back into alignment with the feeling state I value.

So what emotional quality does your heart most desire for yourself? For your family? Every heart has its own song. Perhaps you already know what feeling is your top priority. If not, I suggest finding a few moments (and I know that can be a challenge!) and sit quietly. Take several deep breaths into your heart. Ask yourself, “What feeling or quality do I most yearn for in my life?”

Then listen. The answer may come as a sensation or image. Or you might hear a word bubble up into your consciousness from a voice from deep inside. Initially you may also hear what you don’t want. Do you best to be open to your heart’s response. Often our minds will immediately kick in with its list of reasons why your heart’s desire simply isn’t possible. Thank your mind and breathe back into your heart. Listen some more. Repeat as necessary.

Since I discovered my heart’s desire, I have an internal guidance system that allows me to cut through chaos and confusion - whether it’s coming at me externally from a wound-up 2-year old or from within myself in the form of not knowing “How do I deal with that?” When I ask my heart, “What would peace do?” I unearth all sorts of solutions from a space within that feels larger than myself. In this space, I am connected to my own intuition and wisdom, I am in the moment, and I am not relying solely on my mind’s preconceived ways of navigating this world. Whether I come up with an answer that solves the challenge or not, I have at least connected back to my center. And isn’t that what my heart desired in the first place?

As I mindfully parent Bodhi using both my head and my heart, I know I am modeling balance and emotional awareness. I am connecting to myself in delightful new ways and I am delighting in connecting to him anew. And I am bathing him in the emotional energy of love in action, no matter what appears in each moment.

Meghan Gilroy is a transformative life coach in Marblehead, MA. Contact her at www.meghangilroy.com or meghan@meghangilroy.com