Anxiety, Depression and Food

I was 23 years old when I had my first panic attack.  I was sure I was having a heart attack, asthma and a stroke all at the same time, so naturally I called an ambulance and went straight to the emergency room.  After a battery of tests I was given a clean bill of health.  For the following month or so, I visited the ER three times, all with the same result - nothing wrong.  I was perplexed and angry with the health care system for not being able to diagnose my physical ailment.  I was depressed.  Finally, someone suggested I might be experiencing anxiety and that that may be the cause of my symptoms.

Whaaaaat?  Me?  Anxious?  No way.  No how.  I'm one of the most laid back people I know.

But still, I continued to have these 'episodes' of sheer terror and uncontrollable and utterly uncomfortable symptoms, that I would have looked into alien possession and exorcism as a possible diagnosis and treatment, had someone suggested it.

So, I learned everything there was to  learn about anxiety and anxiety attacks.  I dug and dug for answers, cures, anything that would help me to combat this excruciating disorder (for lack of a better word - disorder, yuk).  I went to therapy.  I talked with friends and family and was surprised to find out that I was not the only one I knew to be experiencing anxiety.  Yup, anxiety.  That's just was it was.  Me...totally and COMPLETELY anxiety ridden.  Having had this realization (and doing something about it) are the things that have changed my life forever.  I knew almost immediately something had to change, but what?  This was my first question and for me to answer it I had to get in touch with how I was living right then and there.

Cut to present day for a moment.  I'm a Health Coach teaching people the concept of Primary and Secondary Foods.  Our primary foods being relationships, career, spirituality, physical exercise, thoughts and beliefs.  If one or more of these primary foods are lacking or out of balance, our overall health is effected.  Secondary foods consist of the food we put in our bodies.  As you can see on my 'Patti Roads Health Coach Pyramid" above, water, veggies, grains, fruits, proteins and oils make up our secondary foods.  Very important, but not the whole picture as you can see.  For example, if you live with a spouse who shouts at you to clean up the place instead of kissing you hello and telling you they love you, you are not being 'fed' in the relationship area. As a result, you might walk right over to the cupboard and help yourself to an entire chocolate cake to make you feel better emotionally.  Ha.  Yeah, I've done it.  Not only does your psyche take a hit, your body takes a hit as well.

Let's take a look at my 'diet', primary and secondary, at the time of my first panic attack.

So, there I was, 23 years old, a pack of cigarettes a day, an extra large coffee, extra light with three sugars in the morning, beer at night, a toxic relationship, a high stress corporate job, food that should never have qualified for food, not exercising much because I didn't need to - my body 'looked' perfect - go figure!  My thinking was the worst, though.  I was insecure/shy, critical of myself in so many ways, a survivor of an extremely difficult childhood - perhaps a story for another time, and a total sugar addict.

When I look back, I think, NO WONDER!  I was barely feeding myself at all, primary food or otherwise!  One thing I had going for me was that once I had my mind set on something, I was going for it no matter what.  And I was going to kick this anxiety thing for sure, without medication.

The next couple of years began a journey to wellness...body, mind & spirit - a journey that, thankfully, I am still on today.  Becoming more conscious about thoughts/belief systems, food choices, relationship choices, etc. all take practice.  And practice I did.  I became more conscious about what I put in my body.  I was more selective about who I let into my life.  My healing was set in motion.

Some of the changes I made specifically,

• I quit smoking and drinking.
• I turned to a vegetarian diet and gave up coffee and refined sugars (I eat meat now, but only organic and locally grown).  I studied nutrition like you can by watching the #FREE Worldwide Premiere of Hungry For Change http://bit.ly/GKRhXi (from the producers of @FoodMattersFilm ) on @GaiamTV!
• I developed a daily yoga practice and studied with some of the best teachers in the world and subsequently became a yoga teacher.
• I started a happy and grateful ritual where, on a daily basis, I brought awareness to all that I was happy and grateful for.
• I developed a meditation practice and studied Buddhism, kabbalah and other spiritual practices.
• I left my corporate job and spent some time volunteering in selfless service to others.
• I became an avid hiker and nature lover.
• I practiced being kind and loving to myself and others.
• I set an intention to go 'inside' for the answers I was looking for.
• I explored new ways of thinking and found new sources of inspiration like abraham-hicks, a law of attraction point-of-view, etc.
• I worked on forgiving myself.  I worked on forgiving and finding compassion for others.

Today, 15 years later, I continue on my journey to wellness through food exploration, primary and secondary.  I feel confident in the fact that you can find healing through food, as I have and continue to do.  Speaking of which, I've stumbled upon something recently that I've found to be BEYOND helpful and for sure HEALING.  Check it out -  The Three Principles - mind, thought, consciousness - an interesting take on our psychology.  Women leaders, check out this site:  Optimal Women's Leadership.

So thank you, panic attack/anxiety disorder for helping me to find me.  Thank you for waking me up.  I am happy and grateful for how  you've changed my life for the better.  I'm happy and grateful for the humbling effect you've had on me through the years.  I am so grateful to you for bringing me to the realization that I'm only one thought away from experiencing the oneness of life, peace.  I'm happy and grateful to know that healing comes from within and not so much from a pill.  I am happy and grateful for the opportunity to teach and share with those who seek health and happiness.

Thank you anxiety disorder, for helping me to find my way to these unbelievably healthy and delicious cookies from My New Roots.  Recipe here.  I jest, of course, but not about the cookies...(:

Peace.

Be inspired.  Eat well.  Live well.  Be happy.

Visit www.pattiroads.com to learn more about me and my services.

Love, Patti