Hair Styles & First Ladies

If it’s Tuesday, there’s a GOP caucus going on somewhere. Today, Colorado and Minnesota Republicans will gather to vote their choice, or near choice, for the next president of the United States. Former MA Governor Mitt Romney is top dawg in the race for the GOP nomination. He has garnered the most delegates: 81. It’s early in the game, 1144 delegates are needed to win the nomination, but the “betting men” are beginning to consider “putting their money” on Mitt.  At last count, the handsome ex-gov with the passel of handsome sons has hit the 50% mark in the Nevada caucus vote count. Newt has 27 delegates, all won in South Carolina; his polls and popularity have gone downhill since that Jan. 28^th Gingrich Glory Day. However, it’s not over ‘til it’s over and the chubette warbles.

It doesn’t matter, I knew that The Newt could never win the nomination. It’s his wife; she simply doesn’t have the right hair to become the First Lady. No man can hope to be president of these United States with a too-bleached blonde on his arm, especially if the double-sprayed coif doesn’t have a prayer of moving.  It’s just not going to happen folks.

In my opinion, that’s why John McCain didn’t win;  Cindy Lou had that go-go-blond colored slicked-down helmet.  I remember she tried every which way to change the style, tone down the color, then up.  Mercy. And all that money, too. Who’s advising these people? It’s like The Donald, he has millions but he just can’t get the hair right; it is more like a fright wig.

Now, I have license to opine about bleached blondes being one myself, but I’ve accepted that I’ll never be First Lady and I’m from Texas. They love bleached blondes down there. Dolly Parton is a favorite.

I’ve researched this.  If you go on About.com > Women’s History, you can view wonderful pictures of all 49 First Ladies—most of them have some shade of brown natural- looking hair, shoulder length or just below the ears, very soft looking.  A lot of the earlier wives wear lacy caps, but you can tell the designated natural-looking tresses are hiding under there somewhere. Pat Nixon was a blond but a natural blonde.

The majority of these First Ladies look like they could make oatmeal cookies, an apple pie and a perfect pot roast—with the exception of Louisa Adams who looks rather regal. Mrs. Grant looks a little severe, but she had to put up with a husband who tippled. Also, those long corkscrew curls and ringlets on some of the ladies seem to be the “done thing” in their day. Callista, on the other hand, looks like she
has just finished negotiating a galactic treaty with Yoda and is preparing to attack The Death Star.

So, back to the candidates, Romney is expected to take Colorado. Minnesota is expected to be a close race and a tossup between all four candidates; Santorum could win. It’s a very conservative state and Santorum is the un-Romney candidate. Not only that, he has the perfect wife for the march to Pennsylvania Avenue. Rick and Karen have seven kids, a big asset with The Tea Party contingent. Newt has hung his hopes on the South. On NBC’s “Meet the Press” he said, “We believe by the time Texas is over, we’ll be very, very competitive in delegate count.” Well, you better get Callista to “tone it down” and put some swing in her headdress because Ann Romney has the perfect locks for the Lincoln bedroom.